few days after...

Todays one of those days...

where i stare at the paper, but can't write,

only tears seem to sheer...

Even if I fall in love again, with someone new..
It will never be the way I loved you..

It is hard for me to blog again as my ideas for blogging no longer full in my mind. Being alone and having to stand on my own feet again is extremely hard. I never knew that things like this will ever happen again and I thought God has shown me the the sign that he's the 'one'...But I guess I was wrong.

Being with him for the past 3 years has changed me a lot. Especially mentally. He showed me the broader side of life that I've never notice previously. He introduced me the colorful side of life that I thought was just black and white last time.

I thanked and owe him a lot and I know I can never repay him back. He was my everything and my world revolved around him. He picked me up when I was down thinking that I can never be back again. He gave me hope that there'll always be rainbow after the rain. I trusted him with all my heart and looking at having a better future with him up to a point of taking the next biggest step in my whole life...All plans were laid down in front of me...And thinking that I'll be the happiest and the luckiest person even when the time comes but now everything will remain as dream.

I can't deny that it is hard for me the accept the fact after what has happened but I know I have to be strong no matter what. I can't pretend to put a smiling face when I know I'm not happy. If I could turn back time, I'll definitely make things better and I know every man will want a perfect partner and I knew the fact that I took for granted on many things. Part of the reason why this happened is because of me.

I've never regret knowing him and never once think that it was a wasteful 3 years instead it was the biggest achievement(apart from academic) and the greatest memory one can dream of having. We cherished each other and we had the best years of our life and I knew that no one can ever replace him.

Tears has not yet dry off at the moment. I cried because I know I've lost one of the most important person in my life. I lost part of the purpose in my life and lost the second strength(apart from my family) that made me strong all of these years....

I'm not sure if God has a better plan for me but I know He do and daddy said take it as a blessing in disguise...My prayers will always be with him (praying that he'll always be safe and God will always help him in whatever he does)..

If one day, things changed the other way round or he has a changed of heart, I'll always be happy to mend things back and be happy back like how we used to be because he is the precious thing in my life....