I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to youI think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understandIt's all part of a grander plan that is coming trueEvery long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to youNow I'm just rollin' home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you
Well, my anniversary with the Boyfriend is counting down the days and I'm very excited..Apart from graduating, meeting my bestfriend and celebrating anniversary with my loved one, a little side of me still remembers the tough time that I had to go through before achieving the happiness I have now. I tried to forget at times and try not to remember a thing about it or act as if it never happened but I can't....Its very painful that sometimes, facing the Boyfriend or my parents make me feel soooo guilty...Guilty of not able to be a daughter that can take care of herself despite of her family teaching, guilty and shame that I have a bad history that doesn't mind to the Boyfriend...I'm trying my best to be the best girlfriend for him but sometimes it doesn't seem to be enough... 2 years has past since the 'nightmare relationship' but I still feel like it happened just yesterday.. I pray everyday, praying that he won't show up in front of my doorstep or anywhere (wherever I am) or his number appear on my hp screen...The rage and anger is still inside of me even though it was 2 years ago...I didn't have the guts to stand up to him, I don't have the guts to do what I supposed to do, I don't have the guts to stand up myself, my own pride and dignity....I was drained inside but yet I was stupid to continue the relationship... Even his family and friends looked at me as I'm the guilty one ( I know part of it was my fault)...I knew I never had a bright future with him but I kept reminding myself that people can change but I was so wrong...But instead of dumping him and leave the useless relationship, I decided to carry on with him...Giving him the chance each time he make mistakes hoping that he'll change somehow or rather...I gave everything I have in me as I thought it would be worth while, and again I was wrong...Meeting him at the first place was the stupidess mistake I have done in my entire life...I should have walk away but I was naive....I don't see my previous relationship as a typical guy-and-girl-breakup relationship...It dragged my life away up to the point that I don't realize that I've lose my friends around me...I don't the good thing when my friends tried to help me....My life evolved around him...I have never used to work in my entire life, but when I met him, I had to work for that extra cash just to support...You can say that I'm stupid because it is true (i am stupid, at that time)...I used to have what I want in life, a caring family (not like his broken family, where he comes from)...I don't eat Maggi for lunch and dinner straight or don't even have the cash to pour petrol...
Well, maybe the part I have a change of heart towards another human while in the relationship was a no-no thing but would you want to live with a guy that hurts you most of the time instead of sharing your ups and downs together, make you happy, make you looking forward to meet him everyday after your class???? I'm stupid enough so don't follow my footsteps. It's hard to put down everything into this blog and I hope I can educate people roughly.
When I first got hit in the face, I cried but then I forgive him the next day as he beg for forgiveness...Promised that he won't do it again...I should walk away from this relationship after the first hit but I chose to stay because I believed in him. He made so many promises and sweet talk but it is all bullshit and full of craps...Then, it starts to drain me away from my friends, my pwn personal time, but I didn't see it coming until the Boyfriend called me to ask how am I doing (after got beaten the last time)...I soon realized I derserve someone better than him...I slowly pick up the courage to explore the world I've once lost....I skipped from work many times (not that I want to but because of the bruises I had on my face)....I feel so ashame with my friends and people who knows me...
This is not even 1/4 of the real thing that happened....But one thing for sure, it made me stronger and blessed with family, friends and loved one who cares and shower me with love all the way..
To all the girls out there, never ever accept someone who beats you up (then say he loves you), make you look stupid in front of his friends, or always give excuses for not going out with you or ask you for money(saying that he'll pay back but in fact he won't). Don't lose your dignity and pride for this kind of man and I can assure that it will haunt you forever and it will be the most regretful thing ever in your life because I have chose that path before but I turned back in time...