God, please give me the strength...

Been back home since Wednesday night and will be heading back to Penang tomorrow afternoon. Feels hesitated to go back actually. I'm still on holiday mood. Having to work in a new environment and requires your talking and convincing skills take up a lot of energy and by end of the day, I'm extremely exhausted. Even though I'm on leave, my mind still think about on my work... Well, I'm torn between staying or walk out...I know it's just 3 months but the pressure and workload is like tonnes...Maybe because I'm not used to it yet or maybe it is just not my thing...

Having not able to go back for Chinese New Year make me think whether it's worth to continue my current job or just leave it...Eventually, I still need a job in order to survive...I'm still finding work that I can operate from home and having the flexibility of my own...I realized that my new job takes up most of my 24 hours time...I don't even have a second to breath...By the time I leave work, I'm so tired and sometimes don't even feel like having dinner...No appetite... I dragged myself up each day to go to work...I'm not sure the reason why, maybe because I don't like the job or just because I'm tired....Anyway, I'm still searching...

Sometimes, when things get tough, it feels like the whole world came tumbling down on me and that no one can help me...Its like I'm in a lonely dark world....Struggling to survive...I miss college years actually, care free mind...Need not to worry anything apart from exam...But since I started work, commitment came down on me...It feels heavy..So I'm not sure whether I can carry the responsibilities of a wife in the future.....

Not every feeling can be describe by words....I don't have the heart to talk out with the family as I don't want them to worry as well as think that I'm unreliable...I miss my good old high school days and turning back is impossible and I know that everyone will grow eventually...That is the cycle of life...

Each day in Penang passes by so slow and I feel like I can count by fingers...I miss my family every time I'm down with hard times...I pray every night that God give me the strength to go through every obstacles that come in between me, that God blessed me with good people and companion and that God will protect everyone that I care and love...

after CNY and having family time.

These are a few sneak peeks of what's happening during the previous Chineses New Year(I was working on that day)...All of the family members were there except for ME!!! Sad isn't it??? I kind of miss the family reunion actually. Daddy said this year was quite different except for the fact that grandma's health is worsen...

I'm at my home in Perlis currently. Felt so good to be here...Its been a while since I last came back..Nothing change..I love the smell of ikan goreng cooked by the neighbour, the sambal belacan smell...Neighbours talking to each other at the gate..We hardly see that in big city... Everyone knows each other basically over here...Going out with my best frined, Yana later in teh evening. It is 4 months since I last met her....She's on a holiday for Chinese New Year...

By the way, my ex-Form 6 friends did some small reunion..BFF, Alla was there as well..She tagged me and I can't attend as I'm working...Bloody work...Talking about work...Will be back to work on Monday...I hate that part....I don't feel like going back to Penang, I mean not now... Time flies too fast...I'm back here on Wednesday night, and today is Friday........I hope I can stop the time from going forward....

pre Valentine and chinese new year

Valentine is around the corner and I have yet to buy gift for the Boyfriend. And I'm working on the day,and CNY falls on the same day as well..Daddy and mummy is coming tomorrow or Saturday morning and they'll be heading back to Trengganu for Chineses New Year and sadly I can't join them this year, FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!. I hate the feeling of not being able to be with family members especially festive season...NO angpow for this year as well...And can't visit grandma....

work from home

It is Wednesday and every mall are jam packed with shoppers shopping for Chinese New Year. With the sales that are going on, makes it even worst....It make me sad at the same time as I'm not able to celebrate this year due to work commitment...Sometimes to think of it, will people appreciate what we do? Or they'll pass you by like you're not important at all...Sadly, I always say yes to what ever people's request........

Don't have the mood to go to work today actually but I dragged myself up though, with my eyes shut while walking.It is exhausting and tiring to work in the wee hours(mind you, I work at 5am). While some people are still dreaming, I have to wake up at 3.30am,brush my teeth, cold bath and have breakfast and best of all is my breaktime is at 8am!!!!That is the time where people starts to eat breakfast and I'm already on my break...I wonder when can I drive a BMW and goes to work whenever time I want...So good isn't it....Dream la...

Well, was thinking of getting a job that I can do from home (work from la konon). Had this so called 'project', can't even stick my butt at the table for 5 minutes, how the hell I want to work from home. It looks easy when you see someone else doing it but discipline is important...

CNY shopping

Went for Chinese shopping with BFFs. The Boyfriend could not tag along as he has class to attend.Too bad.But we hade great time together..It was a quick shopping trip as Khang already knew what he wanted and I'm the one who tagged him along to the fitting room..I hope he like the shirt I choose...I'll definitely buy one for the Boyfriend if I have the extra cash in hand...So sad...Upon reaching QB, we had lunch in Sushi King as Khang was craving for it...FYI, there's no Sushi King in Alor Star..But they have McDonalds,unlike Perlis...OMG!!!....

After lunch, waited for Riana and Yazid, as usual they're late for 30 minutes...We accompanied them for lunch in food court as they do not know where to eat and Yazid only survive on chicken chop, nasi kandar and nasi melayu:-p........Then we had to shop as fast as lightning as Khang need to take a bus to go back to Alor Star..He came for only 1 night...It was nice though even though its only 2 weeks he moved back there,it feels months.......And I hope he liked the shirt we choose for him:-)...

After tired of walking, we stop at J.Co Coffee and Donut...Fifi bought 3 pieces of doughnut and Khang bough ice coffee...As usual, I 'belasah' Khang's drink and Fifi's doughnut...Sorry dearist.... We waited Yazid and Riana...Called them and they were at optical shop to buy contact lenses for Riana (this is her first time)....Then, they met us up in J.Co..We proceeded to the parking...I sent Fifi back on the way home and dropped Khang as the ferry jetty..There goes the goodbye again...

Later evening, went out with the Boyfriend...Watched Avatar but not in 3D...Could not get my hands on the tickets.....Headed home early as supposedly wake up early to clean the house and visit the Boyfriend's mum...End up waking up at 11.30am....Cleaned the house and went to the Boyfriend's house to have lunch...It was a good lunch and fullfilling......Burpppp!!!!!...Headed straight to QB again...Walk around and both 2 bottle of juice (on promo) and headed home...

extra income=extra headache

Well said on the post..Was thinking of finding ways to earn extra income instead of depending on just one job that I'm currently doing...How good it is if I could just blog all day but still earning some income...There's this website referred by a friend of mine which generates money for you.. All you need to do is just refer your friend to the website and make sure the sign up and voala, that's where the money starts...But I don't think that easy as many people might think this is a scam...Well, I was sceptical at frist but I still signed up:-p........

Its Friday and I'm looking forward to weekeend as it has been a hectic week for me...Tiring and exhausted...Has not been able to go back on time even though my shift is over...Is torn apart whether to change my job or just give it a go...But I've been changing too many jobs now...Until then, when can I drive my own BMW...*sigh*....

The Boyfriend has started working now, so most of the things I would have to do on my own... Sad......