Having not able to go back for Chinese New Year make me think whether it's worth to continue my current job or just leave it...Eventually, I still need a job in order to survive...I'm still finding work that I can operate from home and having the flexibility of my own...I realized that my new job takes up most of my 24 hours time...I don't even have a second to breath...By the time I leave work, I'm so tired and sometimes don't even feel like having dinner...No appetite... I dragged myself up each day to go to work...I'm not sure the reason why, maybe because I don't like the job or just because I'm tired....Anyway, I'm still searching...
Sometimes, when things get tough, it feels like the whole world came tumbling down on me and that no one can help me...Its like I'm in a lonely dark world....Struggling to survive...I miss college years actually, care free mind...Need not to worry anything apart from exam...But since I started work, commitment came down on me...It feels heavy..So I'm not sure whether I can carry the responsibilities of a wife in the future.....
Not every feeling can be describe by words....I don't have the heart to talk out with the family as I don't want them to worry as well as think that I'm unreliable...I miss my good old high school days and turning back is impossible and I know that everyone will grow eventually...That is the cycle of life...
Each day in Penang passes by so slow and I feel like I can count by fingers...I miss my family every time I'm down with hard times...I pray every night that God give me the strength to go through every obstacles that come in between me, that God blessed me with good people and companion and that God will protect everyone that I care and love...