I guess blogspot will be my 'best friend' for the next God-knows how many more days.
I didn't sleep at all yesterday night. Been turning around the bed, in and out the toilet, heart pumping so fast, sweating and when I tried to sleep, half way through, I had nightmare..I had to wake up and washed my face. The nightmare seems so real and I can't differentiate which is reality and which is dream. I was so scared. I turned on the light and eventually its already 4.30am. So I though, since I can't sleep, might as well I take a shower and head to the office earlier to clear my email. God, hundreds of emails to clear and I managed to clear them. Pphheeww..I looked at the mirror this morning and GOD, I looked like a walking corpse.
I lost appetite in eating, keeping myself in the room, staring at the 4 white walls and now I start drawing...Imagine how pathetic it is. I miss boyfie extremely a lot. The house has been very quiet. I miss his jokes, his smile, his laughter, everything about him. I've never felt this much lost before. I know I made a mistake previously but I'm willing to do anything to make him come back.He's my strength and my support. He took good care of me and accept me the way I am. No one can ever replace him.
When you have that perfect someone, you would want to keep forever.This is what I feel at the moment.