Nak main bunga api..yeay yeay..heading back to hometown for raya this coming weekend

My best friend is heading back to Kedah today and I'm still stuck at work..Uurrgghh!!! She'll be driving down with her brother...So jealous she has a car....I'll be going back to Perlis on Friday afternoon. Not sure whether will ask the Boyfriend to send me until Alor Star or I'll be going straight by bus to Perlis...Anyway as long as I reach home...

I'm sooooooo friggin excited about the reunion on Monday (21st Sept). We'll be having reunion with some of my exschool mate (SMKPutra). Some of them might be bringing their kids and husband... It still feels like we just finished our high school last year (nonsense!!!)..How time waits for no one ;-(...But yet, evryone of us still managed to keep in touch...People that I never used to like has now become friends. It was childish I can say but that was years back..See how adulthood can make people change now...

Work wise????? Still hangin' on but so desperate for other job...I searched through Intel page and saw a few vacancy that require Degree in BBA/Finance or something similar to it...I meet the requirement but attending the interview is another nightmare...I'm not afraid of public speaking ( i know i'm weird)....The questions they ask are like subjects that I studied in my first term of degree or diploma years....How could I remember...GOSH!!!...I'm interested, and its part of my plan to work in the finance industry....But, the process of getting there is not like what I have in mind....

Syawal kian tiba

Syawal is this Sunday and I'm so excited...Excited to meet my old friends..We studied in the same school 8 years ago (it shows that I'm getting older)..Going back to Perlis on Friday as I took half day....I hope its not jam or the bus ticket is sold out...If not, the Boyfriend will have to send me all the way to Alor Star...Anyway, even if there's ticket available, I still ask the Boyfriend to send me (not always ok, I'm not that cruel)....

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my friends ( ex-SmkPutra, ex-classmate UNITAR 2004-2009 batch, former Maxis colleague, former Celebrity Fitness colleague) a very Happy Syawal...May this Syawal bring happiness and prosperity to you and your family...Maaf zahir dan batin...

never forgive a guy who hits you the first time and this post for the people who have been with me through sadness and happiness

I set out on a narrow way many years ago

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to youI think about the years I spent just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understandIt's all part of a grander plan that is coming trueEvery long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to youNow I'm just rollin' home into my lover's arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

Well, my anniversary with the Boyfriend is counting down the days and I'm very excited..Apart from graduating, meeting my bestfriend and celebrating anniversary with my loved one, a little side of me still remembers the tough time that I had to go through before achieving the happiness I have now. I tried to forget at times and try not to remember a thing about it or act as if it never happened but I can't....Its very painful that sometimes, facing the Boyfriend or my parents make me feel soooo guilty...Guilty of not able to be a daughter that can take care of herself despite of her family teaching, guilty and shame that I have a bad history that doesn't mind to the Boyfriend...I'm trying my best to be the best girlfriend for him but sometimes it doesn't seem to be enough... 2 years has past since the 'nightmare relationship' but I still feel like it happened just yesterday.. I pray everyday, praying that he won't show up in front of my doorstep or anywhere (wherever I am) or his number appear on my hp screen...The rage and anger is still inside of me even though it was 2 years ago...I didn't have the guts to stand up to him, I don't have the guts to do what I supposed to do, I don't have the guts to stand up myself, my own pride and dignity....I was drained inside but yet I was stupid to continue the relationship... Even his family and friends looked at me as I'm the guilty one ( I know part of it was my fault)...I knew I never had a bright future with him but I kept reminding myself that people can change but I was so wrong...But instead of dumping him and leave the useless relationship, I decided to carry on with him...Giving him the chance each time he make mistakes hoping that he'll change somehow or rather...I gave everything I have in me as I thought it would be worth while, and again I was wrong...Meeting him at the first place was the stupidess mistake I have done in my entire life...I should have walk away but I was naive....I don't see my previous relationship as a typical guy-and-girl-breakup relationship...It dragged my life away up to the point that I don't realize that I've lose my friends around me...I don't the good thing when my friends tried to help me....My life evolved around him...I have never used to work in my entire life, but when I met him, I had to work for that extra cash just to support...You can say that I'm stupid because it is true (i am stupid, at that time)...I used to have what I want in life, a caring family (not like his broken family, where he comes from)...I don't eat Maggi for lunch and dinner straight or don't even have the cash to pour petrol...

Well, maybe the part I have a change of heart towards another human while in the relationship was a no-no thing but would you want to live with a guy that hurts you most of the time instead of sharing your ups and downs together, make you happy, make you looking forward to meet him everyday after your class???? I'm stupid enough so don't follow my footsteps. It's hard to put down everything into this blog and I hope I can educate people roughly.

When I first got hit in the face, I cried but then I forgive him the next day as he beg for forgiveness...Promised that he won't do it again...I should walk away from this relationship after the first hit but I chose to stay because I believed in him. He made so many promises and sweet talk but it is all bullshit and full of craps...Then, it starts to drain me away from my friends, my pwn personal time, but I didn't see it coming until the Boyfriend called me to ask how am I doing (after got beaten the last time)...I soon realized I derserve someone better than him...I slowly pick up the courage to explore the world I've once lost....I skipped from work many times (not that I want to but because of the bruises I had on my face)....I feel so ashame with my friends and people who knows me...

This is not even 1/4 of the real thing that happened....But one thing for sure, it made me stronger and blessed with family, friends and loved one who cares and shower me with love all the way..

To all the girls out there, never ever accept someone who beats you up (then say he loves you), make you look stupid in front of his friends, or always give excuses for not going out with you or ask you for money(saying that he'll pay back but in fact he won't). Don't lose your dignity and pride for this kind of man and I can assure that it will haunt you forever and it will be the most regretful thing ever in your life because I have chose that path before but I turned back in time...

Graduations and meeting my best friend

I'm counting down the day when I'll be walking down the stage to receive my graduation scroll..

Flight ticket has been booked...Has informed my very best friend to pick me up from the airport..I'm so excited....Excited for the graduation as well as I get to meet my best friend..I told her that we'll be hanging out together as much as possible...I still miss those school day though...How time goes by... Raya is around the corner...I've prepared everything...But not new shoes...I'll be wearing shoes that I bought but never been worn before(not even once, ok)..... I guess the most exciting about graduation is that, everyone will be wearing the same robe as you're regardless of whether they manage to graduate because they cheated in exam or etc....The only thing that differetiate each other is you know how much effort you have put into making your dream comes true...Apart from that, graduation means the mark of endless working life awaits you...You're no longer have the privilege of skipping class, copy your classmate's assignment, hire someone to do your assignment or cheat in class...You're on your own feet now...You'll have to wake up earlier even though its hard....Punch your card into the timer machine in office, check your emails, maybe sometimes overtime...It's a different set of activities..Totally different....

When I first work (october last year), the first thing that crossed my mind was....'Shit, I have to pay my own house rent and bills'....Soon, it became easier and it teaches me on how to manage my money wisely....I no longer shop vigorously like how I used to when daddy and mummy still giving me pocket money....I had to plan my expenses (daily and monthly).....You'll cherish your hard-earned money more...I miss those high school and college years....Not because I don't have to work but more to friendship that we built with each other..The bond that existed between us grew stronger till today....We never fail to stand by each other and support each other when the tide gets rough....We never leave each other no matter what....Plain and simple life as a student....Nothing to worry and no responsibilities... Well, no one grows younger right....I know people change but one thing for sure, my bestfriends will never change and I love them...

graduation date

Daddy called me yesterday. He said the graduation invitations has arrived..I'm so excited..Has applied for my leave and am going by Air Asia..Woohoo...

today is not a promising day

Everything seems to fall apart today...Argued with Ms.J...And now I feel annoyed...She asked me to inform the janitor to see her when he comes in...But she informed me after the janitor took the pantry keys....and she thought I did not inform janitor...Then some misunderstanding happened...Lazy to blab about it...

Bought a new guinea pig for Russell's companion...Afraid that she might get lonely....We named her Max (as in Maxine)...She's small and adorable and not to mention, damn quick!!!!...Maybe she's just afraid as she is not use to it...

Kasper went to see God

Well, the past few days was a bit gloomy for me, the Boyfriend and Russell (the guinea pig). Kasper 'left' us without we managed to say goodbye...Even though he joined the family 4 months ago, the bond that existed between the 3 of us has made us realised how important they were...Even though they're just tiny little rodents...Kasper made us laugh a lot with her cheekiness...She was Russell's best friend and she's the naughtiest compared to Russell...What sadden me the most was, the morning Kasper's died, Russell wanted to wake her up using her nose but sadly she did not make it through the night...So Russell sat still beside her just to accompany her...I guess she knew that Kasper is going to leave her...Kasper has been very quiet for the past few days, so does Russell but I did not realise something amiss untill 3 days back...When Kasper was sitting lifelessly...She couldn't chew herself or drink water herself...Thought of taking her to the vet the morning she died...The night before, I knew that she will not make it through the night but somehow deep inside me, I told her to be strong but I guess that God loves her more...I cried....When I saw the Boyfriend carrying without she even jumping..And I knew that there's nothing I could do. I miss her a lot... Really a lot...Russell no longer running around in their 'compound' like how she used to when Kasper was still around...They would sniff each other, sit, sleep and eat together...

I have never felt this close to my pet before...Maybe because the Boyfriend taught me on how to cherish and love your pet...He said, animals are like humans, they have feelings but they don't know how to show it...The only way to do it is through tears and through their eyes...

Anyway, another story is we went for movie marathon last weeked (me, Khang, Fifi, the Boyfriend)...We watched Oprhan and Final Destination...FD was lame and looked fake compare to the old one...What a waste...But Orphan was good as the little girl acted as Esther looked real...A lot of surprises instead of horror...But the images are graphical so not really suitable for 18 and below....Khang closed his face while watching Orphan...I thought I was the scary cat...Hahahahaha..What a shame...The day after, Khang got headache...Hhmm...

Weekends are coming

Pretty much laidback for the past few days...Cooked grilled bbq beef with black pepper sauce...It was a disaster but force to eat...The Boyfriend ate 4 pieces of beef (which includes mine,hehehe). Marinated prawn yesterday night for today's menu (grill prawn and pizza)...I hope it turn out better today...Fifi asked us out this Sunday for movie...

Its boring Friday..Not much work and hope it will remain this way till the end of the day...

My dad does not own this company

Well, its Wednesday and still hanging on to my work...Very boring...Mr.V is back in office...I think he was on leave yesterday..No wonder the office is kind of quiet...Nothing much to do today..Checking emails, pantry, and usual task...Everything seems 'blur' today and I'm still thinking what to cook today...

I'm still in a quest of searching other jobs available...I'm doing dead-end job...Colleauges are ok except people like Mr.V...

Nothing to blab today..No plans for the weekends yet..Supposed to watch Orphan last weekend but surprisingly there was no show..Hhmm...

Weekend was hhmm....

Weekend was fine...Followed mummy and daddy back to Perlis on Saturday...They came down on Thursday..Daddy bought a microwave cum grill for me....Yayyy!!.Met up with Wan and Pak Don to discuss on our reunion matter...Quite confusing actually...Hhmm... The Boyfriend picked me up at jetty on Sunday...Went straight to Gurney Plaza to buy my bolster (mummy threw away my old bolster)...So sad...Bought it at Home's Harmony (50% discount, not that cheap even after discount)...

Went for movie yesterday...Watched Imagine That (main cast is Eddie Murphy)...Was funny and a few touching-heart moments.... The crowd was a bit less yesterday and ate Pastamania for dinner...I ordered something fishy (new menu) which doesn't taste nice at all...So I end up eating the Boyfriend's pizza...hahahaha..We shared mineral water...Then went Cold Storage afterwards to buy some groceries..Bought mostly frozen food just to test out the new microwave...hahaah...

Spend Merdeka eve in Slippery Senoritas with Khang and the Boyfriend...Fun even though it was a last minute plan!!!!!...The place was crowded towards the end...We managed to get a seat at the bar(of course we did as we were there since 10.45..Gosh)...We thought the place would be packed but no...Halfway through, we met up with Adrian...He's fat!!! OMG...We sat at the same bar...Everyone's laughing...Then, bumped into Sharmini (didn't expect that)...Nothing happen that night..No chairs or tables were thrown down (we sat at the same spot where the chairs and tables were thrown down last few weeks cause by some stupid idiotic creatures)..My eyes were 'running' around to see, just in case....Stupid...Me and Khang were dancing all night and I turned around to be amazed, seeing the Boyfriend is dancing as well.............................with other girl... The same crowd as us...We went back at around 4am...We woke up at about 4pm....Khang have to wake up at 9am....hahaha..as he have some kind of training the next morning...He was so excited for that 2 so-called hour training (because the trainer was a pretty lady)... Pervert... Hahahaha.....

the so not exciting Thursday

Well, it is Thrusday and one more day to go before we hit the weekend. But it doesn't seem exciting for me....I'll have to leave the Boyfriend behind to spend time with the family...I've been doing some thinking for the past few days about bringing the Boyfriend to meet daddy..I asked him but he seems nervous and shy...Ahahahaha...I'm not sure when is the best time to do....Hhmm...Maybe not now...

Well, me annd my best friend is trying to put together all the things for our reunion during raya. It is a bit of frustration as some of our ex-colleague did not agree with the price of RM30 that we set..We ere thinking of doing it big as this is a reunion of after 8 years...Hmm...Sh'es helping me to send out messages to all the classmates that we have in contact..Looks like it's not an easy task after all...

Nothing to blab today except one thing which I just remembered..Something about Mr.Vincent... Ahahaha..Stupid idiot...

In the mood of killing someone

To start the day off, I logged into my FB account and checked my Reastaurant City game...Hahah..Life is great in Intel except if you have to deal with a bunch of moorons...Hahah..
Mr.V irritates me again.Now regarding the water dispenser. I don't want to elaborate much as this will bring bad luck to me...Even his shadow is a curse to me....

Daddy and mummy are coming tommorow...Gosh!!! So that mean the Boyfriend will have to be away...Uurrgghh!!! So sad...But at the same time I'm excited as this means shopping...

Nothing to 'blab' for the past few days. National day is next Monday and still don't have plans for it. Hari Raya is in 3 weeks time and I'm sooooo excited to attend my high school reunion....

Salam Ramadhan and was on MC yesterday

Its been days back after my last post. First story, I was down with flu since Thursday. Thought it was nothing but came Saturday and the flu still there. Went to see a doctor and he gave a cough syrup(which tasted awful), antibiotic and flu medication...I asked for liquid one and the nurse kind of baby laugh at me...Hahahaha...I hate pills.

Daddy and mummy are coming down this week. Not sure when...Not to say I don't feel happy but they come too often and sometimes I pity the Boyfriend...Hhmm...Going back to Perlis this weekend...Miss home cooked food....ALOT!!!!...

Weekend was OK. Watched Dance Flick and Up in 3D(the 3D spec is 3x bigger that my face).. I slept halfway through watching Dance Flick...Boring!!!...While for Up...Ok but not much of laughing part....The fat kid part was cute though..Ahahahaha

today is horrible and I don't feel well

To start off, I received a very uncomfortable email from Mr.V and it made my heart stop for a moment thinking how could he do such thing to me...Need not mention here as it causes heart ache to me....I hate him alot.......

The Boyfriend is back in Penang. Me and Khang went to the bus station to pick him up. We waited about 1 hour. During lunch hour with Khang, I don't know why. Me and Khang kept on laughing non-stop...He's sooooo funny...Nice to have a best friend like him...And Khang asked me to pick him up as it was raining heavily yesterday....I slept like a pig, you know.

The Boyfriend is coming back today and little miss is happy

Well, the Boyfriend masged me this morning saying that he's coming back today. Hahaha. I knew it. I miss him a lot though. Ms.J is not around today as she is attending some meeting. I feel so glad. Going out for lunch later with Khang. Hhmm. Haven't decide where to eat yet.

Nothing to brag today...

i feel unappreciated and demotivated.feels like kicking Mr.V in the ball as he derserves it...

Today will be my first day without the Boyfriend as he's in KL for some assessment thing. Send him to the office at 6.20am!!!Mr.V is pissing me off by telling my colleague that his team under utillized me...How do you feel that???It is depressing you know....The Boyfriend is not here as well...I feel so down. Going for dinner with Khang and Delon tonight. Dunno where yet.

Anyway, weekend was awesome as the Group hung out together (as usual gossiping about people)...We went Sushi King. Food was ok but best part of all, the Boyfriend tagged along...It was so cool. I so love him. All of us watched Aliens in the Attic (cute, stupid and funny, all in one)

Went for lunch with Khang (unplanned)...Nothing much to talk as we save it for tonight.Hahaha. He's my Astro, you know...

I miss the Boyfriend so much...

Mr.V demands a lot and he is a sissy. My best friend got his first job..

The Boyfriend managed to find some of the head lice nits yesterday. Take about 1.5 hours to finish but I bet there's bit more left on the head. Anyway, I'll use the shampoo made for head lice 7 days after 1st attenot (it would be on the 19th)..Fingers crossed...So I called daddy yesterday as I received 2 missed calls from him...I'm not good in putting my hp beside me and when I sleep, I sleep 'dead'...So don't expect me to pick up the phone....If you were in an accident, I'm the wrong person for you to call....Me and The boyfriend always argue about that....

Second story of the day. So I emailed Mr.V telling him self-ordered pantry items are finishing...He said he want to take a look at the storage room where we kept the things....I told him Kopi 'O' is finishing and he asked me to mix and match all the 3 in 1 drinks....These engineers are so pathetic. I said we already have self made nescaffe, what's the point of ordering packs of kopi 'O'...He said many people don't like it...OMG, they sould be greatful as they have tonnes of food in the pantry for them to choose from...Don't like it, buy on your own and stack them in your cube....End of story...

It is Friday today and I don't feel excited instead I feel very down...Don't know why...My 'pocket' is frying up and this is just middle of the month...Going for lunch with the Boyfriend later..Thinking what to eat..You see, Penang is not that big compare to Perlis (listen up Boyfriend), so the food is not much of variety...Even though people said, Penang is heaven of food. For people like me, it is not heaven...I still prefer mummy's homecooked food....*drooling*.

I'm reading a Singaporean married lady currently and her blog looks fascinating. With pictures on what's going on in her everyday life...And she's pretty.I love to watch women passing by...NOT that I'm a lesbian but because have different fashion style to lok at and to copy..Haha.. Men are just simple and plain (except those who are sissy)..Men usually wear shorts, sneaker, pant, t-shirt...*boring*

No plans for the weekend but maybe going for dinner with Khang...He's working in INtel as well...At last I have another chat buddy apart from Munyis...This is his second day. Nothing much to be proud of working in Intel actually. It does sounds 'wow' but its empty...Stress and ridiculously people...Sometimes their request are nonsense..

Transexual, accept or push them far away...i cut my hair

Well, today's topic would be slightly haevy as I'll be talking about transexual. I watched a video of a Singaporean transexual (KUMAR) ending up doing stand-up comedy and being paid for that. He even have to dress up on stage...The video tells a thousand stories of his life, childhood years and current life. It was amazing. The last video (there's part 1,2 and 3) were tearful (maybe not for some of you)...But this is what he said... 'if you have dreams, go for it. Don't bother what people say because at the end of the day, you, yourself would have to decide what you want in your life and your future. If you're doing something bad, people talk bad about you. If you do good deeds, people will still talk bad about you. So why bother?'. You'll live your life once so why not start thinking for your self instead of thinking what others will think about you.... He said he went through a lot in order to be what he is today. He gets to travel, make tonned of money despite being a stand up comedian...Hhmm...His words are very motivational. Not to say I don't favor transexual but because I don't have one friend who is that. Its just weird a guy,who, dress up like a girl, talk to you in a manly voice. Just that.

My head lice story : Use dhead lice medication yesterday night. Leave it almost 3 hours. It feels better now, need to find the nits...Which the Boyfriend will have to do.

Head lice and f***ing irritating, Mr.V

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make brand new ending.

- Carl Bard

First of all, I have head lice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I don't know where on earth I got it...I shampooed my hair everyday...My hygiene is great...I'm a clean person...I've been having this itching on my head for past few month and I thought it was some kind of allergy until yesterday.............................I found a head lice on my finger while scratching my head.I press it and came the 'pop' sound and I was like....SHIT!!!!!I have head lice.....Going to the pharmancy later during lunch time...Can't take the itching anymore. This is just one problem.

I've been rushing whole morning until I forget to top up the pantry and Mr.V sent me and email (CCed to Ms.J as well)...He is such a jerk and I hate him...He's bringing attention to every details of my actions...Why can't he come to my desk and enquire directly to me????I guess he's having some kind of 'attention disorder'...Lame and pathetic sissy!!!!!....Just because he's promoted recently, he wants to perform...Suck your own ass sucker....He's so irritating and kiss ass person you know...If you were in my position, I bet you'll cursing him loudly!!!I still have the patience though...He's not worth the arguements. People like him should just be ignore or give him a silent treatment..Should not explode...

Went for lunch with The Boyfriend. Stop by pharmacy to buy a bottle of stupid lice shampoo and lice comb..Why does the lice invade my head....???This is so humiliating and disgusting. I told the pharmacist that it was for my sister.........Bluekkk!!!

Mr.V is making my life miserable again and he's so snobby

I'm going through a very bad day for the past few days....Job burn...

Today is the story of a guy at my workplace who annoys me almost everyday. Giving me stupid task, which he himself can do it...instead he asked me...Just because his position is higher than mine, he thinks that he can ask me to do anything....And guess what, I don't feel like working here anymore. The feeling gets stronger each day. I'm eyeing for another job actually. This job is making me cripple inside...Boring and dead end job. Plus trying to meet engineers nonsense demand, making me feel left out. In the sense that, I feel like I'm a 'slave' for these people even though not every one of them. Some are nice...There's no motivation at all. Every morning I force myself up and get ready for work. Daddy said, you have to make the job interesting...I tried but nothing change...

Well, took hald day leave yesterday and went to watch G.I Joe : Rise of the Cobra. It was a good movie. Packed with actions, sexy and hot girls...and not to forget, handsome 'people'... Ahahahaha. Overall, they still can't beat Transformers...