UK trip and some other stuff

I went for class last Thursday and during the class(yes, i know we should pay attention in class but it was boring) few classmates and I had a brief discussion on where we would want to go for our attachment year. Okay, for your information, the course that we're taking now Masters in Buss Admin (majoring in International Business) requires us to travel overseas for 2 or 3 weeks and get attach with any company of your choice or chosen by UNI. During the attachment, you need to gather informations (everything about the company except the P & C infos), in order to write your short thesis(cool eh:-)). Best part is some companies will give you allowances even when you'll only be there for weeks only...

So, one of my classmate suggested that we should take this opportunity to go to the same country and stay in the same hostel or service apartment and we got to go sigh-seeing together. This is also one of many ways to go for a budget-holidays. So she suggested UK as the first choice, another classmate suggested Australia as second and thirdly will be Singapore. So I agreed. We budgeted our financial roughly about RM10,000 for the whole trip. And I gulped myself. I think that shouldn't be a problem right since daddy's around:-p...

So this classmate couldn't stop thinking about UK from the first time we talked about it until the class is dismissed. But in a cute way. She'll say 'We must go UK la' every few minutes and we can't stop laughing...

*the shocking news will be in another post..sorry

Panasonic GF-1

For the past few day,I've been doing some surveys on compact SLR cameras and what does it mean and this model caught my eyes while I was browsing for it on Google. I don't want to carry a bulky one as I would have to carry another extra bag to fit it in. And also I don't want to look like some 'poyos' who carries around the big SLR camera in shopping malls just to show it off *God know whether it even has a battery in it or not ;-P*. Further, I want it to be practical and could fit in my handbag. I'm not a professional photographer so why would I need the pros one right?

I have a shocking news for everyone but it will be in the next post so keep reading okay...

Bruno Mars - Marry You (HQ+FULL)

a simple meal just the 2 of us

Love is not a matter of counting the years ... But making the years count

By Michelle Amand

Well, had a simple post-Valentine dinner after work in Palace of India. I had Naan and masala chicken while he has Claypot Briyani. We did not celebrate on the actual day as both of us are working and I had class that night. Bought a Casio watch which he has been eyeing on for quite some time. The price of the watch can't be compared with all the things he bought for me.hahahah I did not 'ask' anything as I'm not sure what I want (yes, I do ask from him to buy me things, so what?).

On top of that, this house has been going through a minor renovation, even then the dirt are like major ones. So I had 'fun' cleaning the house for the past 2 days. Felt like my back is breaking apart. God!!!

happiness

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

~Norm Papernick

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

anonymous

CNY post

Well, sorry for the late update on what's happening during the last Chinese New Year. It was good as everyone was there even though grandma's no longer around. I'm glad to see that the family bonding session did not fade away despite of the absence of grandma. I wasn't sure whether we could make it to visit grandma's grave or not but eventually daddy brought us there. It was an overwhelming feeling when we stepped our feet there. Remembering those time when she was still around. She practically took care of me since I was small so I was close to her. Even we only meet like once a year, phone calls are often asking how she's doing. There are some things she could not remember and I can understand that as she's old. Put that sad story aside, here comes some pictures during the Chinese New Year in Kuala Trengganu.

petition

From today onwards, I will stop messaging while driving...You should too.

the 7th day of Chinese New Year

Just got back from Kuala Trengganu last weekend and this year's New Year was awesome even though grandma's no longer around but yet the spirit of family is still there. And I'm glad that everyone is still as close as how we used to be last time and that the tradition still goes on. Good thing about this year's CNY is we ate a lot. Day and nite...Finding good food around Trengganu. Bad news is my angpow are less this year..Sad...And people start asking when am I getting married??... Annoying but that's the fact if you're turning 27 this year..But that's not a concern for me though as I have so many things yet to achieve in my life none the less marriage life...

For this year's New Year I bought a dress, a jean and 2 checkers shirt but only manage to wear 3 of it. We took many pictures and will upload soon....

Cousins still look the same except me with super-short hair... Aunties and uncles are still the same too...

The last day before we head back to Penang, we stopped by grandma's graveyard. We brought 4 oranges along. but not for long. I know daddy wanted to cry but he just looked away and said we're in a rush of time as mummy wanted to stop by Kota Bharu to visit my babysitter9sort of) when I was a little baby.

We got stuck in a jam for about 3 freaking hours and reached Penang roughly about 12am

Happy Chinese New Year

I would like to extend my Chinese New Year wishes to all readers. May the year of rabbit brings prosperity, joy and happiness to everyone. Be a responsible driver, follow the road signs and don't drink and drive.

p/s; blogger will be away for the holiday season and will be back next week. So expect some delays in blog posts...

we're perfect in our own special way

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong

Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!

Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game

It's enough! I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Clinic Cafe

chicken cordon bleu

tomyam fried rice

orange and apple juice

Pictures were taken a few days back during dinner in Clinic Cafe situated in Gurney Plaza. It was recommended by a good friend of mine, Delon. We were friends since high school. They serve food like Tomyam Fried Rice, Chicken Cordon Bleu, Fried Chicken Wing, etc. The kind of food where you can easily get them at the nearest local hawkers. Clinic Cafe is basically selling its concept of using hospital utensils like kidney bowl, wheelchair as sits,etc...Therefore, if you're looking at having the experience of dining using these equipments, then this is the place.

slacking

I know I've been slacking in updating this blog. Well that's what happen when you have to juggle study and work at the same time. Anyway, bought 1 dress from Dressing Paula for Chinese New Year.Plan to get another one but not sure whether it will be a dress or a shirt...

love is lust or long term?

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.

All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

- Helen Keller

everything seems shinning

I notice lately that I'm in a very good mood. It seems everything is so bright..I guess its a good sign of 2011 and I wish I will always feel this way...

My Heart, My soul

if you were a road, i'd learn every turn,
till i could find my way with my eyes close
if you were a song i'd sing along,
till i know every word and every note

but you are everthing to me,
a mystery, your the love i live to see

CHORUS
by heart, by soul
that's how i want to know you
keep you as close as breath is to life
wanna watch your love unfold
by heart, (by heart), by soul

if you were a place, i'd stay my whole life,
so i'd had every corner memorized
and if you were a star, i'd follow you home,
you would be the light that is my only guide

you are everything to me,
my a to z, and will be forever and eternity

CHORUS

i wanna know you inside and out,
better then i even know myself

CHORUS 2X

if you were a star,
i'd follow you home by heart, by soul

during the weekends

Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie (Part 2) ft. Eminem LYRICS

post Singapore trip on my birthday

this ride is not open to public yet. i was going to ride it if its open.

these dancers are from Indonesia and they're so freaking cool

final goodbye to 2010

Well, for me, many things has happened for the last 12 months.And today mark the last day of 2010. How time flew so fast without you realizing it. I hope that 20111 will be a better year for me, turning me into a stronger person, more focus and dedicated human being. What ever that are not important, I wouldn't want to put it into my organizer or keep it in my mind.

Therefore a toast to an excellent 2011. The year of glory, full of achievement and happiness....

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

Ellen Goodman

i'm back

this small little creature is back in action...pictures taken in Singapore will be uploaded soon.

A Merry Christmas

I will be away till 28th December so there'll be no updates till then. Will post pictures from my holiday to the Lion City once I'm back. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all readers. Have a safe journey home. Don't drink and drive...

dream is just a word without you

You've got to follow your passion. You've got to figure out what it is you love--who you really are. And have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dream

let it go...........

.There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go

Emily Osment And Mitchel Musso - If I Didn't Have You

can I speak to GOD directly because I'm....

It takes a minute to meet someone, an hour to get know them, maybe even a day to love them. But a lifetime to forget about them.

When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.

my christmas wish came early

life quote of the day

everything will be okay in the end, if everything is not ok, then it’s not the end.don’t think about the future, but reach for all your dreams, don’t think about the past , but cherish every memory, don’t think about today, live today.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the ones who treat you right, and forget about the one’s who don’t.Believe everything happens for a reason.If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.Nobody said life would be easy, they only promised it would be worth the ride.

5 rules to have a happy life: 1. Free your heart from hatred; 2. Free your mind from worries; 3. Live simply; 4. Expect less; 5. Give more

Friday nite

Attended 7aste event at 32 Mansion yesterday night. It was a good nite as the last I had my fun time was months ago. Met a few friends..And Adrian got this CD as a gift..Is Nadhira's CD. I guess she's a newbie in the music industry. Collaboration with Vandal from Canada and King Lhota from Senegal. She's small in size with big voice.Can't remember what question it was...Sorry no pics during the event. Busy talking and eating:-)... The YouTube video clip is one of the song in her latest album.

People make mistake and they should be given a chance to prove that they have changed. So do I. And sometimes we would do the extra things for the person that we care and love. I don't mean that we have to accept what ever mistake our partner did but at least give time to both side to reconsider things and think what they really want. If they're meant to be, fate will be on their side but if fate is not there, no matter how hard we try to be together, it will be broken eventually. I believe good things will happen to people who has faith, hope and patience.

Katharine McPhee - Better Off Alone

One thing I'm wonderin
'When you run out of friends
Will you be coming back home?
Let's think this through again
Let's take a different spin
Why can't I leave you alone?
Somewhere tonight, you may be found
With some other girl you've been draggin' around
You lie to yourself, and you lie to me
It seems like the truth is your worst enemy
Cause baby I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights
It's taken some time, cause I didn't know
If I could ever let you go
You helped me figure it outI'm better off alone
I'm better off alone
I may be found, somewhere tonight
Cursing the day you walked into my life
What's done is done, I can't change time
But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna try
Oh I'm gonna try
Baby I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights
It's taken some time, cause I didn't know
If I could ever let you go
You helped me figure it out
I'm better off alone
But every now and then, my heart gives in
To the hope that someday you'll change
Then alone I'll wake, to my own mistakes
That it's just a foolish game
I'm tired, tired of the fight
I'm tired of the lonely lonely lonely days and the dark endless nights
You didn't think, cause you didn't know
That I'd find the strength to let, let you go
I finally figured it outI'm better off alone
I'm better off alone
One thing before I go
Something I've got to know
Boy, did you ever love me?

i had 0 idea in my head

Never let life's hardships disturb you ... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.

Nichiren Daishonen

I had no idea what to blog but I just need something to type. Been coming back from office late recently. Work are getting more. Furthermore if I come back early, I'll be staring at the 4 walls..best of all, BFF Alla will only be back in Penang one week before Christmas..Lagi I naik gila of boredom...Now itself I'm thinking what to do on this Saturday night...This is horrible... My appetite is still the same and one of my colleague asked me whether can I put on weight or not and I said no coz my body metabolism is extremely high and he said 'Try not to shit after eat la'....I'll die after that.

And I guess I'll be celebrating new year with BFF and that girl will definitely be out with him... You know what I do feel like killing someone at the moment and if there's no law saying that you'll be jail for manslaughter, she'll be the first person on earth I would love to kill. I'll only say but when the time comes, I'll chicken out. Not that I'm scare or what tapi tak sampai hati...And becoz of 'tak sampai hati', see where am I standing now???Miserably...I should be a mean girl from the start..

christmas 2010

Christmas is like 3 freaking weeks away and I'm sooo freaking happy. Plus BFF is coming to Singapore with me as well...yahoo... Its a good way for me to relax actually after all that has happened. Planned a trip down to KL for new year celebration with Khang and Alla but not to sure yet. It has been 2 years since I last had my vacation. Plus the trip down to Singapore will be a good one as Christmas celebration in Singapore is a something to die-for. Sitting down at the Orchard Road on Christmas eve with close friends and cousins.Sitting by the roadside or walkway...Drinking a cup coffee at Clarke Quay. Like how I used to do last time with my cousins. It was pure fun as we were still children. Nothing to worry except homework...No responsibilities, no attachment...Good old years...And that is where I went to my first club..Ahahahaha...

life is unfair sometimes

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.

~Terri Guillemets

I didn't expect that life would throw me things that I would have never expected but I guess that what makes life more meaningful. If everyone can predict how the future will be, we won't appreciate what we have. Well sometimes, when things happen, you can only bring yourself back up and pray for strength and guidance. It may take time but eventually you'll be yourself again. Some can stand back in a short period of time but some people (like me_), it may feel forever.

I'm taking one step at a time from now on. Baby steps as I don't want to be hurt and crush anymore. At this moment, daddy and mummy has been the strongest supporter and they know what I'm going through. I'm still having hard time to get myself to sleep at night and it is tiring but I know I have to as I have so much things waiting ahead of me. So many plans to be executed. Plans that I have since I was small...

I've never regretted. Not even once instead I felt lucky to have met such a great man in my life. A man who I respected and look high upon to. A man who I knew will always be there in the time of in need. A responsible and caring person. And a man of honor(put aside his egoistic character, every man has that). A girl would be lucky to have someone like that in her life, Words will not be able to describe how he is.

late at nite

It's 1.47am on Sunday wee-hour. I can't sleep as I'm not sleepy but I didn't take my nap in the afternoon. It has been going on like this for the past weeks. Even during weekdays. I have to force myself to sleep. Lost of appetite and so on...This is so tiring...

Daddy and mummy has gone to Singapore. they were here for the past 4 days so at least I don't feel lonely. BFF will be in KL for the next almost 2 weeks. So I guess this week will be a very boring week for me. Go to work , come home, dinner and off to be. I'm not looking forward for weekends nowadays. Cause I know I'll be spending my time at home on weekends and that's lame. Well, with limited circle of friends, that's what I do. Most of my friends are either married, working overseas or working in another state.....

Katharine McPhee - Say Goodbye

Bruno Mars - Talking To The Moon (MUSIC VIDEO)

I want to be able to smile again but even the thought of a smile makes me think about yours and thats what really hurts

It has been a week

Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, always

One day you will ask me which is more important, you or my life? And I will say my life, and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.

I could be with anyone in the world and be content, but I stay with you because when I'm with you, everything's better than I could've ever hoped for.

The 7th day

When I found you,

I felt as if my heart found its destination

Nothing much has change. The feeling of 'pain' I guess is still there. Doesn't subside. Anger and confuse is in the head. Still finding the main reason why it happened. Clueless is more of the correct word. Deep in my heart I know I have to move, go with the flow and at the same time, put a bit of hope that things will be better but I can't. It is hard to bury that kind of thought in my mind.

Boyzone - Better

I guess things seems to be better with you around. . Nothing look beautiful now....

In my heart is where you'll always

Day 6th

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Today passes so slow and I decided to do some extra work in office as I don't have things to do at home either. I'm still not getting over things yet instead it felt even awful. My mind is still blank and I'm still in shock. Didn't have the appetite to eat still. I'm going to look like a walking skeleton if I don't do something about this. I'm still hurt inside and still trying to put fake smile.

Bought ticket to Singapore for Christmas. There's no reason for me to stick around for the holiday. Furthermore I have no one else here. Its been 2 years since I last stepped my feet there. Good to have some time off in order to leave everything behind even though it's just temporary. Some time to think what I really need and what I'm gonna do next.

5 days after

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

- Author Unknown

Dear readers,

You must be thinking why I changed my blog address right? Well, I want to leave behind something that I can cherish forever. Telling stories about how my love journey went and the best thing that I've never imagined happened...

Having to come back here makes it more difficult than ever. I felt the purpose of coming back to this home no longer exist. Nothing to look forward to... Every corner, every road reminded me of every memory and moments I used to have..It is hard...As hard as having to swallow a big pile of shit...I'm still crawling of not use to doing things on my own yet...I'm still crawling to be honest... I tried to held my tears back every now and then...

Talking to mummy and daddy about what happened more or less made the burden a little bit lesser but still nothing changed..I'm trapped within myself and my mind is still blank with what has happened..I'm still in search of why even though I know there's no point but there's always a reason why some things happen...

When I received a text message from mummy saying 'I love you,from mummy' for the first time (even though she often say it verbally) yesterday,made my heart sank. It seems that she understand what I'm going through and I know that she's trying her best to cheer me up when I was at home. Every mum hope and pray the best for their children. Having to see them in their wedding outfit is one of the many things that parents would want to see but I guess on my part, it is just a dream...

few days after...

Todays one of those days...

where i stare at the paper, but can't write,

only tears seem to sheer...

Even if I fall in love again, with someone new..
It will never be the way I loved you..

It is hard for me to blog again as my ideas for blogging no longer full in my mind. Being alone and having to stand on my own feet again is extremely hard. I never knew that things like this will ever happen again and I thought God has shown me the the sign that he's the 'one'...But I guess I was wrong.

Being with him for the past 3 years has changed me a lot. Especially mentally. He showed me the broader side of life that I've never notice previously. He introduced me the colorful side of life that I thought was just black and white last time.

I thanked and owe him a lot and I know I can never repay him back. He was my everything and my world revolved around him. He picked me up when I was down thinking that I can never be back again. He gave me hope that there'll always be rainbow after the rain. I trusted him with all my heart and looking at having a better future with him up to a point of taking the next biggest step in my whole life...All plans were laid down in front of me...And thinking that I'll be the happiest and the luckiest person even when the time comes but now everything will remain as dream.

I can't deny that it is hard for me the accept the fact after what has happened but I know I have to be strong no matter what. I can't pretend to put a smiling face when I know I'm not happy. If I could turn back time, I'll definitely make things better and I know every man will want a perfect partner and I knew the fact that I took for granted on many things. Part of the reason why this happened is because of me.

I've never regret knowing him and never once think that it was a wasteful 3 years instead it was the biggest achievement(apart from academic) and the greatest memory one can dream of having. We cherished each other and we had the best years of our life and I knew that no one can ever replace him.

Tears has not yet dry off at the moment. I cried because I know I've lost one of the most important person in my life. I lost part of the purpose in my life and lost the second strength(apart from my family) that made me strong all of these years....

I'm not sure if God has a better plan for me but I know He do and daddy said take it as a blessing in disguise...My prayers will always be with him (praying that he'll always be safe and God will always help him in whatever he does)..

If one day, things changed the other way round or he has a changed of heart, I'll always be happy to mend things back and be happy back like how we used to be because he is the precious thing in my life....

A test from up above

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have

Life is hard sometimes, but there is always a reason for why it is

-Jacquelyn K.

Weekend was good as mummy and a neighbor of mine were here for a medical follow-up.They reached here on Friday night and went back this evening. We wanted to visit Bukit Bendera but it was closed for renovation so we went to Kek Lok Si temple. It was hot and tiring but good. The view from up there were beautiful until it made me don't feel like coming down ever....

Had a good conversation with mummy for the first time ever (after 26 years) about G...Didn't know that she could take the news so calmly. But I'm glad that everything has settled on my side that I don't have to hide my relationship anymore.

I'm praying that God will give me the strength to overcome what I'm facing now and that He will lighten my way and give me a peace of mind..And God, please keep away whatever that comes between me and him..

Feast the eyes on the pictures taken during the visit...

It was believed that you lit the candles and pray that your path and whatever you do will be enlighten by God.

They used to have turtles in this pond

This picture was taken during the medical follow-up. While we were waiting for our turn:-)

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

Javan (Steven Javan Jones)

Things hasn't gone well for the past few days. Many things happened and it affected emotionally. Talked to daddy for a while over the phone and it made me felt better. I never thought that I could talk to him about my relationship. It was a good conversation. I hope what ever is happening now is just temporary. Just a change of life cycle. I have so many things going through my mind so I do not wish to add any more burden into my tiny brain. I never want the same thing happen to me again like my previous relationship. It doesn't make me feel good.

Carrie Underwood - Temporary Home

felt awful since then....

I don't know what to feel

I don't know what to say even though I know it won't change

I don't know how to react anymore

I'm speechless

I feel threaten

I sense jealousy

I sense hypocrite

I feel annoyed

I don't feel well emotionally

I sense anger

I feel irritated..........and the list goes on........

I know what I feel now will not change anything but I do hope it will change....

Billy Gilman --- Oklahoma

This song is about a boy who never knew that he had a dad and his dad doesn't know he exist.
I cried when watching this music video

my heart wants to shout out

Sometimes, there are moments where I feel like standing at the edge of a cliff and shout my heart out but I can't find the perfect cliff here in Penang. The only cliff I know is Bukit Bendera..Not a suitable place to do that I guess Even though you have good friends or family to listen to what your heart want to say but there are things that you're aren't able to verbally tell them...It is hard to explain by words and that is what I feel now. Confused and decide whether to think or not to think...The harder I try not to think, the harder it gets...Sometimes it is best to just let it go...

Entri BM sempena Aidiladha

Entah kali ke berapa aku menyambut Raya Haji di negeri orang. Terasa sayu bila mendengar takbir raya di awal pagi. Bayangkan mereka yang terpaksa menyambut raya lebih jauh di negara asing. Entah apa perasaan mereka. Namun ini salah satu pengorbanan yang terpaksa dilakukan demi mencari sesuap nasi...Inilah lumrah kehidupan zaman sekarang. Mereka yang di kampung berhijrah ke bandar unutk mencari peluang yang lebih cerah....Ada yang berjaya dan ada yang hanya boleh melihat orang lain gembira kerana berjaya mencapai matlamat hidup...Mereka di perantauan hanya dapat menumpang kasih dan ihsan orang asing dan menganggap mereka seperti keluarga sendiri...Sayu................

Salam Aidiladha.

Wishing everyone a Happy Aidiladha

Drive safely and have a great holiday...

blogger is currently on exam mode

There won't be any update till the exam is over.......

Accomplishment in life.

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

Earl Nightingale

I know I haven't been updating my blog for quite some time. Been busy with exams and workload..Sorry readers..Nothing much to tell about for the past few days. Same chores..Go to work and come back, books, computers and so on...

Happy Diwali

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my Hindu friends a very Happy Deepavali. Have a joyous moments with your loved ones....