it was not just goodbye

A memory lasts forever never does it die.

True friends stay together and

never say goodbye

It was my last day with my team and I held back my tears so that I can have fun with them. Took pictures with each person on the team and how I miss those ' Call wait guys', 'please clear chat wait'.. I know you won't understand what I meant right. Anyway, I'm gonna miss my team a lot. Really a lot. Since I graduated, this is the best time of my real working life. These people taught me a lot of things and what to expect from the real world.

At the same day, went for an interview for another department which was recommended by my manager. I made the decision to step out of my team is not because of some problem that we have among us but some thing that I have to give up in order to give way to my future(studies). In fact all of us were like family. They make me laugh a lot through my experience working with them. Minus the 'berleter' part from my manager. She's just doing her job and I understand that. We took care of each other and gave support when ever one of us were down. That's what family does. Well, some things gotta go.

So these are the people who made my day except for certain days:-). Enjoy

this is humiliating

What happen to the Malays??? Read this..This is so embarassing.

Malay youth who itch for

online porn

OTHER NEWS & VIEWS

Compiled by LOH FOON FONG,

RACHAEL KAM and A. RAMAN

YOUNG urban Malays aged 13 to 19 are the most frequent visitors to pornography websites, reported Kosmo!, quoting a study by Universiti Putra Malaysia’s Social Sciences Institute (Ipsas).

The study said 22% of the multi-racial make-up of respondents in the survey were Malays, who also topped the list of those who liked to lepak (be idle) (15%), smoke (13.7%) as well as swear at people and play truant (11.5%) respectively.

“Playing truant used to be the dominant misconduct among Malay students. Now, it is viewing pornographic websites at cyber cafes,” said Ipsas director Prof Dr Md Salleh Hassan, who headed the research.

“These findings make it urgent for the Government to block easy access to the sites before they become a security threat to the nation,” he said, echoing a similar warning made recently by former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

Dr Md Salleh lamented that it was disappointing that parents who were interviewed about their children’s penchant for pornography sites denied the claims, despite the confessions made by the youngsters.

Among the other races, Chinese students were found to be more inclined towards gambling (9.5%) and consuming alcoholic drinks (6.2%) while Indian youths were found to be prone to cheating during examinations (10.6%) and picking quarrels with their teachers (7.6%).

resources by The Star

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/7/22/nation/6707709&sec=nation

stars are what i can see

I'm seeing stars now. Can anyone help me bang my head..pretty please...

I'll be blogging more often after this as internet access is easy for me now...weeee!!! Anyway, I have assignments to pass by tomorrow. The good news is my team mate has done it for me but I still try to understand bits and pieces. I did learnt all this back in college but it was like 2 years back and the books are now in the storage. I'm not sure whether I can make through this semester or not. It is hard.

Went for an internal interview earlier on and hopefully I'll get good news by end of this week or most probably next week.

it is time to decide and say goodbye

It is hard to fail, but it is worse

never to have tried to succeed.

Theodore Roosevelt

I gave my final answer and final decision to my boss that I would have to let go of my job as I'm not going to let my MBA go. Either I have to transfer department or resign and I really hope that I'm doing the right thing. This is what I have wanted to do and part of my wish list. I've been waiting for 2 years to go for MBA. How could I possibly just let it slip pass my fingers. I'm so excited to finish my MBA as I did for my degree. I've promised myself to try my very best to be on Dean's list even though I'm not 100% confident but at least I try my best. It is better that not trying right. Well, fingers cross and I hope things would be better after I finish my MBA. I miss college years but it feels different to be in uni. Different people with different opinions. And more competitive as we are all adults and it will be a challenge for a slow learner like me.

I have a few plans in mind once I'm done with my job. But it is not clear whether it will be successful or not and I hope it does. I talked to daddy after work and he as usual was still supportive and I'm glad that he does. Same goes to boyfie and BFF. Well I have to decide what I want now and I can't be job hopping as well. To be honest I'm still not sure what I want to do for a career. I used to have an ambition to be a doctor but sadly I 'blew' my Maths...It was a funny story and long. But at least I have a Degree like others even though not as a doctor. So I'm still grateful as well. There are still things that put me at par with the society and something I can be proud of. Many people thinks that once I'm done with my Degree, that's the end. Not for me though. I want to be 'someone' and make people who are close to me proud. And I'm happy when they're proud of me as they know that their effort towards me are worth it.

I hope that everything will go smoothly. And with God's guidance plus my close ones's support, I would be able to make it through like how I did previously.

first class was ok

Attended my first MBA class. It was good but boring. Basically it was an introduction class just to refresh what we have learn in degree. Most of the students are working adult so this group is more mature. Some of them are good. I can know that from the way they answer questions from lecturer. So I'm a bit scare and worry that I might be left behind. It is tired to attend class after work. So I'm not sure whether I can coupe and divide my time between my classes and work. With the job I have now to be honest I don't think I can coupe with my studies. So many things to juggle. Plus I'm not the kind that can withstand stress. I'll crack under pressure.

So many things to referesh now. I've forgotten some things that I have learn back in college years. It feels odd to be a student again after 2 years I graduated from my degree. Still not use to it yet. Well, like I said, hopefully boyfie will bring me good news so that I can 'retire' early from work and focus on my study.

Boyfie will have team event with his colleague while BFF have to attend a seminar outstation and I'll be stuck at home all alone. Sad isn't it.

this is tiring

I feel so drain out each day and I dont' feel like doing anything. Work is ok but workload is sooo fucking hectic. Class starts tomorrow and I'm very excited. Excited to meet new people. It is time for me to make new friends.

I feel that my job is not bringing me anywhere. To be honest. I'm stuck here with no what-so-ever assurance of what I'll be getting. Finding another job is not easy as well. I have no choice now but to stay put. I hope that boyfie will have good news...I'm counting on you bb :-)

weekends

One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.

William Feather

Manage to watch movie after 2 weeks of spending the weekend at home. Boyfie was busy with juggling 2 jobs at the same time. I know he's tired. We watched Knight and Day. Movie was good. Funny packed with actions. Since it was a public holiday, we had a hard time to find parking and cars were many today. After movie we bought some things for the house including a mop that has broken (twice this year). Ahahahha.. Wonder how I broke it??? I'm not sure myself...It was suppose to be boyfie's off day today but as usual, people still need him at work....So I went back and change and followed him to futsal centre. Before that we bought maggi goreng for dinner.

dark circle is my best friend

I was chatting with my colleague and she said why I looked tired. So I looked into the mirror on my desk and gosh I have dark circle. I looked ridiculously pale and as if I'm sick and unhealthy. This is not a good sign. With lack of sleep for GOD know till when, the dark circle will always be with me.

Anyway a friend of mine will be leaving for Indonesia for 10 days. He'll be on holiday and I'm stuck here. How I wish I could leave everything behind and go for a vacation. I desperately need a break from all of this stress.

By the way I went for medical check up as it is criteria for my master's application. And the doctor said I have a very low blood pressure. I'm young and I have low blood pressure. I'm not sure what am I getting myself into.

'amazingly' STUPID

I saw a video taken on top of a building. Recording a girl and a guy who's arguing by the roadside. To my surprise all of a sudden the guy start kicking the girl like no one's looking. BY THE ROAD SIDE WITH CARS passing by and the best thing is no one stop to help. You see how inconsiderate Malaysian are. When there are time they don't have to 'sibuk', the have to be a 'penyibuk', when times like this situation, they just drive pass. That is what I call a stupid Malaysians. They prefer to 'sibuk' about accidents(with bloods and all those things) rather than helping this kind of people. And people wonder why is Malaysia so undevelop right...Because of Malaysian's mentality... So shallow.

When I first met boyfie many people criticize me why on earth do I have to choose other races?? Want to know why? Because people with the same religion as mine are mostly so shallow minded. If someone marries a Euro, why people dont' say anything? Instead they're sooooooo fucking proud... 'Oh I'm married to a mat salleh' See what I mean. Why do people have to be soooo proud of that? He/She is also a normal human being. They'll be bury in a coffin and underground and meet God after that. Just that they're more advance, civilized (not all though, some are still stupid), tall, white and bla bla bla...

This is just some of the reason my Malaysia is not develop. The government can create what ever policy they want but in the end, it comes down to the people.

online shop and daddy gets a year older

Well I was in a good mood yesterday. Boyfie went to futsal centre early than usual as there was a tournament and 1 person could not handle the centre. At the mean time, I was out with The Group (riana, fifi, khang, yazid and wan joinedtowards the end of our outing). We watch The Back-Up Plan and it was a touching movie. I nearly cried. Not something that boyfie would like. Too girlie. I was fucking happy until I think of Monday. Starting of the week and it is not good at all. Best thing is I hate my job to be honest..........But daddy said, just be grateful I still have a job in the middle of world's economic downturn...

Anyway, I was thinking of getting my blogshop up and running again but not so sure how. Starting was a disaster. Manage to sell a few and ending up I wear those clothes...Hahahaha... But I will definitely get it done and once successful, I'm quiting!!!!!!!!!!!!. Who doesn't want to be your own boss right???...And it's daddy's birthday today..

Happy Birthday Daddy. We love you a lot.

weekend with The Group

Boyfie will have to work AGAIN this weekend. So there goes my 2nd week of boring weekend. NO movie in 2 weeks. Gosh!! Missed a lot of new movies. I want to watch Sex and The City 2 !!!!!!!. But its ok, even if boyfie and me can't watch movie, I don't mind as long as he's still around. I accompanied him for the past 1 week in Sportiva. Tired but worth while. Boyfie is down with fever and cold. Kesian him and he's so stubborn towards medicine. You'll feel like killing yourself just to pujuk him to take medicine. He's been falling a sick a few times this year itself. I know you're tired. Daytime in office and evening till late at night in futsal centre. Hopefully the it is worth your effort that you put.

Going to meet up with Fifi and Khang later after work. I'm so excited!!! Woohoo....I missed you two BFF....Best part about meeting them is the gossip segment. Ahahaha. Please, don't tell me you say NO to gossips...Khang is like the CNN...Ahahahahaha.

Anyway I feel like my head is going to explode. Everything is jumbling up and I'm in the middle of the crossroad. Class starting soon..Goshh...

durian oh durian

Pictures say a thousand words.

last day at home

Well, it is 10.15am. I just woke. Couldn't sleep after 6am. I'm not looking forward to go back Penang. How I wish Perlis is a big city so that I don't have to move else where. Close to teh family as well. BFF is coming later to pick me up and we plan to visit an old friend of us back in high school. It has been years since we last met. She's married with 4 kids. So cute. Anyway Along will be tagging along. Then after that, we'll be heading back to Penang which is the hardest and saddest part of the trip.

Messaging with boyfie yesterday and I know he's going through a rough time. God, please give him the strength to go through all this. Show him the right path. Give him calmness and every strength in every part of the world so that he can pull through. And I miss him as well.

Mummy's baking bread. Nothing beats a home cook bakery and dish.

days when you and your dad had the quiet moment

Today was suppose to be a happy dinner as I planned to treat my family for dinner and I did. But before that, I had a bad argument with daddy. Felt bad though. The argument was about my young and rebellious sister. Do you ever have a stubborn, rebellious and arrogant sister that sometimes you want to choke her???? I do. Even then I still love her as we have the same DNA strains in both our body where no matter what we do, we're still sisters. But you know a teenager who's age between 15 to 17 ( I had my rebellious years myself). Things have change for the past couple of years where teenagers in those days are not like today. Weird isn't it.

Last time, when we have to call our parents, we use the public phone, but now kids are using Sony Ericsson that cost thousands.

Last time, when we want to buy sneakers, we go to Bata. But now, they buy Converse (which is for them the cheapest brand they can get).

Last time, we only bring $1.00, maximum $2.00. But now they're bringing $50.

Last time, the meaning of lepak is at kopitiam, but now kids choose Starbucks...Damn.

See what I mean. I don't how am I going to support her in the future. Things have change so much that sometimes we missed certain things.

durian season is soooo good

So I came back with BFF. Started our journey at 9pm. And we stopped by SP, to drop Intan (BFF's cousin). Thinking that her friends will be back as well. But in the end, she decided to follow us. It was so quiet and I wouldn't dare to stay alone as well. Anyway, since I have to take my dinner. BFF suggested us to stop by Alor Star stadium. Coincidently I was craving their famous naan bread as well but as we reached there, the place was crowded as there was a live football match against Brazil and Portugal, so we turned back and headed straight to Perlis and stopped by Seriab to have dinner. We ordered daging merah, ayam merah and tomyam. Sat for a while and went off. So by the time I reach home, it was like 1 am. the journey that was suppose to be only 2 hours have become 4 hours. Hahahaha..

Anyway, I was craving to have durian since it is durian season. Penang is so expensive and does not taste as nice as Perlis. Hahaha. I asked my god brother to get a few for me. Have not eaten yet actually. Before that mummy and me drove to Batu Pahat thinking there might be people selling durians along the roadside but there was nothing and no one so we drove home empty handed. Trying to find mango for boyfie as well as he like to eat mango but none left as mango season has passed. But I'll try to find again tomorrow. I miss him a lot :-( .

And I know someone will be 'happy'...

am i getting skinner?

True, my weight has gone down drastically. Oo btw, I'm going back to Perlis this weekend. Woohoo. I'm soooo excited. I didn't get the chance to celebrate Father's Day with the family so I'll pay for it this time. Sorry Dadddy..Anyway, work is terribly bad and tiring. I don't get enough rest and eat. Been working like hell for the past couple of weeks. Hope things would be better by this month end. Class starting soon and I have yet to go for my medical check up. Macam nak start keja baru la pulak. Not sure whether I can balance between my classes and my work but I do hope that my masters will bring me some benefit after this. I'm grateful that I manage to pursue my masters as it was mumm'y dream to see me finishing my masters, and it is also part of my wishlist to go for masters. So basically it is a win-win situation.

Scenario number 2.
What do you think if you ex mentioned YOUR NAME in facebook. The best part is your break-up history is really bad. Annoyed?Disgusted?Pissed? I feel everything. One thing for sure I would want 4 tough guy to pin him down the floor and I will do the punching. That would definitely reliefs me. I hold grudge on him, to be honest. When we broke up, I swear that I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore and deleted him from my thumbdrive, my hard drive and deleted everything that has to do with him including his smell. Sounds freaky right. But try to be in my shoe. You'll know how it feels like. I was weak at that time and I'm sooooooooooooooo f***ing over him. For all the girls out there (or his current gf), you chose the wrong guy. But its not your fault as I don't think he tells you what he was like back then. I can say that he lie a lot of thing to you, ain't?? Make an effort to dig it out like how I did last time.

3rd scenario
Well, I feel drain off and not sure why maybe I worked to hard and loose my balance in life. You know there's one point where you feel like leaving everything behind and get yourself a nice holiday. that's how I feel now. Drained and tired. I kept reminding myself that I'm sttrong inside and this is life. I never thought I will grow up this fast. Feels like I'm still in high school/college. But now it has been 2 years since I graduated from my degree. How time flew so fast. Till today, I don't think I'm ready to face the working world but I know I have to in the end. It is just a matter of time. Daddy and mummy has been so supportive to me and I'm doing this for them as well and I know I have a big responsibilities toward Adik. She's counting on me in the future. I have a lot of big dreams but I'm not sure whether I can achieve all that or not. Sometimes I feel like the dreams I have are moving further and further away.

today was tiring

Saturday was ok but Sunday was gooooood (as I don't have to work on that day:-) ). Went to QB. Was plannig to watch Sex and the City 2. have already booked the ticket but we went late and ticket has been canceled. So we decided to take a stroll in the shopping mall. We went to Palace of India for dinner (2 days in a row). Teringin want to makan punya pasal. Ordered my favorite dish (masala something, can't remember). And then went for ice-cream at Baskin Robbin. Both of us ate quite a lot during the weekends.

Called daddy yesterday to wish him Father's Day. Sad that I couldn't celebrate with them as I had to work. Anyway, BFF asked whether I would want to follow her back to Perlis. I said yes. Hahahaha...BFF, we're gonna go for a road trip....Woohoo.. Plan to buy some durians back. her car is gonna sting man...Too bad..Hahaha.

daddy, daddy cool...

I'm stuck in Penang tomorrow and it is Father's Day. Crap...Plan to buy someting nice for daddy but out of budget. Currently talking to a customer on the line while blogging. Cool ei...Haha.

Dear daddy,
Thank you for all the support you have provided to the family. All the hard work, tears, sweat due to all the hard work. We love you a lot. You're the person who guided us on our first bicycle ride, first day at school (mummy as well), first day in high school, first day in uni and graduation day. We proud to say that we're grateful to have a father like you.

Happy Father's Day Daddy

We Love YOu Daddy.

spanish class?? You've gotta be joking

Despite having bad migraine, I have to drive to the clinic and stop by USM in regards of my USM application that has been approved. At the same time, met up with an old friend where we met in secondary school, Along. She guided me through roughly the process of my online registration for my subjects. My first master's class will be around the corner and I'm freaking excited and nervous at the same. I got the timetable and the fees are quite 'reasonable'.And I have a Japanese lecturer who is going to teach us economic class. Cool ei.... Before that we stopped by Graduate School of Business (GSB) to enquire some info on how to go about the online application. Sounded easy even though the offer letter that I got looked complicated. Anyway, the 'abang' was friendly enough to share some info with us. Surprisingly enough as most government officers are quite 'friendly' at times. So now I'm in USM lab blogging and at the same time finishing my registration but sadly, the website is under maintenance.

To be honest, I have never though that I would be able to pursue my masters as I was a lzay bump back in high school. I love to sleep and that is untill today. Boyfie said I'm a piglet. Hahaha. I'm very grateful that after all the things I've been through, GOD gave a second chance to prove myself. I thank HIM for all the guidance, the support and the strength HE gave me untill today. And I know the fact that I'm no saint as a human. I do bad things but still HE protected me. Also not to forget biggest second thank to daddy and mummy, for EVERYTHING they have sacrifise for me, the money, time and everything they could possibly provide me. And another important person is boyfie, thank you so much for your tolerence and patience you had since we met. The staying till wee hours accompanying me during my exam periods. You and the family has given me so much that it is not enough by just saying thank you. If not because all of you, I would never be standing here now. Also BFF, for being there always, listening to my nonsense and nagging. I promise that I'll do my best, better than my degree and will definitely make all of you proud of me.

This is like a dream. A dream that I could not possibly think of. Another thing to bring back on track is my online business. Once everything settle, here I come again. This time, ALL OUT...

And GOD, please help me this time around again. Give me the strength, patience and guidance to pursue my studies. Show me the road to success and give me the ease to learn things during this period. And show me what is right and what is wrong. Guide me to the correct path and bless me with all the goodness in life. Bless my family and my loved ones.

hati sakit

Well, sometimes, we just have to swallow deep the pain that we feel in order to keep 'everyone's' feeling happy and satisfied. In the end, we are the one who suffers inside. With my workload bundling up, with my classes around the corner, it seems to be upside down. Not sure whether I can coupe with all this nonsense. With some 'things' that are out of my control, it makes me wonder, is it worth it???

feels like slapping the living s***

As per the title above, that's how stressful I am. Feels like chocking someone.. Everything is so messy.God...I'm starting my masters next month and I'm not sure whether I can divide my time between work and uni...This is so tense. Anyway, working on Sunday morning when everyone is still sleeping...Boyfie spent most of his time 'dating' with his PS2. We didn't catch any movie yesterday. Lucky or else I'll be dead. Woke up late this morning but reached work on time... Pheww...

movie date with boyfie and an evening with the girls

Went out with BFF and her cousin, Intan. Attended a beauty class in Pulau Tikus (Belissa Row). It was fun. And met Thipah as she invited us to join. It's a 2 hours class and filled with fun. We got the opportunity to try out the products ( Mary Kay). It was good. the after effect is immediately. I was immediately hooked to the products and went back home to 'negotiate with boyfie...hahahha.. After the class, we went to QB, BFF and her cousin wanted to buy a set of CROC shoes (they have big jumble sales beside BORDERS). I fell in love with this one

It's only RM60. So I tried it on, sadly it doesn't fit me even though it is size W4. Too many people has tried on the shoe, so possible reason is it expanded. So I ended empty handed. Only BFF managed to bought this one. I liked this but coulnd't find my size. *sobbing*.

And we went back about 9pm, so I hung out at BFF's place while waiting for boyfie to watch midnite movie. We watched Karate Kid. It was not bad. Full of cuteness and actions. Imgaine Will Smith's skinny tight son has a six pack...GOD....

wedding dinner

Picture was taken last Saturday in conjunction of Kamini's wedding dinner. Went with boyfie and Dinesh. Bumped into a few college classmates. All of them are working now. And till now I can't believe that Kamini is married. It was held in Chee Hoon Khor Moral Uplifting Centre. It feels like just yesterday I went to her house for our weekly study group. How time flies. I miss those days. Years without pressure, just plain fun. Exclude the exam part. No one likes that ok.

Anyway, work is getting hectic and I hate that. I'm exhausted. F**** exhausted. With my master's class starting next month. I hope I can coupe with my classes despite of my work schedule.

last night at home

Came back from town after picking up mummy from the bus station. Before that, daddy and me went for dinner at a nasi kandar stall that I used to eat when I was small.. They still taste the same and was looking around the area thinking how time flew so fast....I wish I could come back and work here..Closer to the family..I miss them so badly....

After picking up mummy, went to KFC as mummy hadn't had her lunch and dinner yet. Since adik finish her tuition at 10, so we sat there until she finishes her tuition...

blogger is back home

I'm back in Perlis. Reached yesterday. Finished work at 3pm and rushed back to pack my things. Lucky to get a ticket at a very last minute. Boyfie said if no ticket, he'll send me to Alor Star bus station. Aaww, so sweet of him. Anyway, I woke up at 11am and till now, I'm a stinky as hasn't take my bath yet. Ahahahaha... I felt sooooo excited to be back home....The smell of a small town gives me the heart-beep. Daddy is in the room resting, adik is at her friend house for a group study and mummy is on her way back to Perlis from KL...A long 3 weeks holiday for her:-)..

Daddy suggested me to find a house in Penang as he assumed I might settle down in Penang. Oohh ya, my master's application has approved and I'm starting my class this coming July in USM. I'm so excited. I did not expect I'll get through as I think I busted during the interview session. Big-time some more.Anyway, now that I'm in, I have to focus on getting my masters done, get a better and stable job. Some savings and plan for my wedding...

BFF is in KL, I believe. And she'll be heading to Trengganu tomorrow for training which will take about a week...I hope she'll manage to pull through the nights in Trengganu..Ahahaha...Good luck BFF....

will it do any harm if a girl keep texting your man?

Well said in the title. Not that I say your man is cheating on you. But what will you think if your man's colleague keeps texting or calling your guy even after office hour, weekend and other day even after they meet each other every single fucking weekdays? Horror isn't it...Worst part is if you feel like there's nothing you can do, right??? Horrible feeling I can tell you...

Imagine this...Your man's colleague msged your boyfie everytime for no reason. Yes, you can msg a guy to ask how are you................If you both don't meet each other for a very long time.. But in this case, both of them meet each other every fucking weekdays....What the fuck...Yes, your man does all this in front of you. His intention is just messaging a friend and not more than that but the girl don't understand that what she does is wrong. Or maybe pretend to not understand. There's limitation of having a work relationship with a man, especially if he's taken. I'm not accusing anyone over here but if anyone feels threaten or something, then you know the drill.

I'm not a control freak but if this kind of thing happen, don't you feel weird??? I'm not against friendship between a guy and a girl as I have guy friends more than girls but if it's over the board, what will you do???...

So girl, you know what to do....

today was a fairytale

Well, good things will come eventually if you have the patience. Enough said, boyfie came back after all my hard prayers, my tears and what-so-ever-nonsense nightmares i had for the past few days. We celebrated by having a simple dinner at Friday's and movie later on, The Bounty Hunter. Honestly, I give 4 stars. The only reason I still honoring the stars is because there are some romantic parts in the movie. Movie lasted about 2 hours I think. Due to lack of rest for the past few days, my eyes was watery and I was exhausted. But happy at the same time as boyfie has come back.

Anyway, I'm having Q2 kick-off dinner later tonight ar Bagan bar and restaurant. Looking forward for free food.Hahaha...Who does not...Sadly, I can't bring boyfie along. If possible, I would want to drag him everywhere. Pity him...

Anyway, I'm recovered from my fever, but not 100% yet. Still having bad cough and flu. I hate the weather.

Most important of all, I've learnt my lesson for the past few days. Trust your man especially if he does not have any history of cheating. And never ever take him for granted. A relationship is based on give-and-take policy. But for all the girls out there, don't take people's boyfriend for granted as well... Sometimes being too close to other people's boyfriend can lead to misunderstanding eventhough they're just friends. Well you know, GOD gave us brain to think,so use it and play safe. Why want to get yourself into trouble or being the caused of separation in other people's relationship???

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, PEOPLE!!!

lonely,pathetic and sick.

I guess blogspot will be my 'best friend' for the next God-knows how many more days.

I didn't sleep at all yesterday night. Been turning around the bed, in and out the toilet, heart pumping so fast, sweating and when I tried to sleep, half way through, I had nightmare..I had to wake up and washed my face. The nightmare seems so real and I can't differentiate which is reality and which is dream. I was so scared. I turned on the light and eventually its already 4.30am. So I though, since I can't sleep, might as well I take a shower and head to the office earlier to clear my email. God, hundreds of emails to clear and I managed to clear them. Pphheeww..I looked at the mirror this morning and GOD, I looked like a walking corpse.

I lost appetite in eating, keeping myself in the room, staring at the 4 white walls and now I start drawing...Imagine how pathetic it is. I miss boyfie extremely a lot. The house has been very quiet. I miss his jokes, his smile, his laughter, everything about him. I've never felt this much lost before. I know I made a mistake previously but I'm willing to do anything to make him come back.He's my strength and my support. He took good care of me and accept me the way I am. No one can ever replace him.

When you have that perfect someone, you would want to keep forever.This is what I feel at the moment.

i miss my family and boyfie when i'm sick

Today is my second day of having fever. To be honest,I feel like going back to my hometown. At least there's daddy and mummy to take care of me. And boyfie is not around as well. I miss him a lot. Extremely a lot. The house has been very quiet lately. No one is at home. House mate is away. So its just me and myself. Went out for lunch with Fifi and BFF. Don't know what to eat. Then went to Popular book store. Bought myself a sketching book and a whole set of magic pen. Reached home, sat down at the table and start drawing. Imagine how pathetic my life is!!!! Worst part is the TV has die on me. Not sure when am I gonna buy a new TV.

B, please come back faster. I really miss you a lot....

Lucky that BFF is in Penang or else I'll go crazy. Even though I'm sick, I have to do everything on my own..It sucks, you know...Now I know how it feels when there's nobody to help you to do anything especially when you're sick...First day when I had fever, I actually cried..Because I miss daddy, I miss mummy and I miss boyfie very much. I had high fever and I was scared as well. Scared that in case anything happens, no one will be at home to help me...

fever visited me

Picture was taken quite some time as I didn't have time to actually upload. It was roughly a month ago. We had lunch in Fridays. Boyfie ordered his favourite steak and I ordered mac and cheese something. Can't remember the actual name. Looked good in the menu but it came in a big potion. I can't exactly finish it up so boyfie took some.

Picture was taken when we just arrived in Gurney Drive soon after we had our dinner. Its been a while since the both of us actually hang-out till late a night. We went back around 3am.Gosh. reached home and called boyfie but there was no answer on the phone. So I assumed that he was sleeping and I was correct when I called him again the next day. He was down with high fever. And today it is my turn.Had high fever in office since morning but I did not went back as I didn't want to go back home half way through.

As you can see the picture above, I was wondering why on earth does people like her has the 'courage' to actually put on an outfit like that. Gosh, pain in the eyes..I bumped into this girl when I was sitting by Gurney Drive with BFF,Alla. We were actually waiting for our movie to start at 11pm. It was on Saturday night and just so you know that boyfie was in KL at that time. I didn't mention to BFF but I know eventually she'll read this post..Hahahaha

sure enough worth fighting for

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse (curse)
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt.

Is it better? Is it worse?
Always sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards.

I know where I want this to go
We're driving fast but lets go slow
But I don't want us to crash no.

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic
Love aint no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark.

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

I don't know where we're heading
I'm willing and ready to go.

We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down
And just role.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
It's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh...).

Happy Mother's Day mummy

Wishing you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
Moga dipanjangkan umur dan murah rezeki.

Thank you for all that you have done for our family.

Those sleepleess night you have during years of taking care of us.

Those sweat that we caused while waiting for us to finish school.

While waiting for us to finish our music class.

The dishes that you prepare for us for lunch,dinner and breakfat.

And everything.

We love you,Mummy!!!

One of the people I care most

Well, as you can see on the title, the man in the picture is the man that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. He's peeeeeerfect in every way except when he jokes:-) (he thinks that I'm big in size)..Hahaha.We've been together for the past 2 1/2 years and still going strong. And throughout these years, he showers me with care,love and affection even though he don't say it out loud (guys and ego are a set). If you ask me whether is he worth it? I'll say yes because I bet you that I might not find someone like him. He cheers me up when my day is terribly bad and stood by me when I almost falling apart. He accepted my clause and never once complain. He put me first on top of his priorities. He make sure that I'm safe everytime I'm with him. He takes good care of me when I'm sick and even though sometimes he nag, it's for my own good.

I always pray that both of us will last forever and I never want to set my eyes on another man, not anymore.

I have my insecurities, and he gave me an assurance. He's loyal and faithful and it is hard to find that kind of man in this modern days.He respect and accepted me for who I am. But sometimes, when things goes wrong, worry starts to haunt me. Worry that I might lose him to someone better. I know he won't cheat as he is not a 2 timer man. Like I said, he's loyal and faithful.

Everyday I look forward to see him after work, go for a simple dinner or movie. And he don't mind if I wear my sleeping attire for the dinner as long as I'm comfortable.And he prefers my bare-face instead of make-ups all over. I do wear light make-ups for certain occasion. Make-up and girl are one:-).

I just want him to know that, even though sometimes we argued about the smalls things, but I want him to know that, I'm looking forward to a better life with him, through sick and health and through rich and poor. I'll never dump him for any other man and he's the only man in my life apart from daddy.

Putting into words about his characteristic won't be enough as the list will never end. But what is put into this blog is sure enough to explain how good he is in my eyes.What epople think,does not matter because at the end of the day, I lead my own life not anyone else. And when you're in trouble, these are the people that you'll think of first.

boyfie is old enough to get married

Well, 30th April was boyfie's birthday. We went out to Gurney Plaza with his colleague as well. Watched Iron Man 2..It was crowded..Holy s***...And saw a few people that I wish I don't bumped into...I didn't even say hi...Well, past that off...

Anyway, movie started at 10pm.. So all of us met up in 7th floor for dinner...7 of us left from 12 of us who should be attending the dinner and movie...Then, at a very last minute, 1 attendee canceled the movie-date...That's it.. So during movie, only 11 of us left...So after movie, we didn't know where to head..Club???It will be jam pack as it is labor day and Monday will be a holiday as a replacement holiday for 1st May that falls on Saturday...And I can say, club is the worst place to be during any public holiday..Place will be damn humid,hot,sweaty adn uncomfortable...People will bump into you escpecially drunkers, they will talk nonsense....And I don't like that...So everyone decided to have a drink at Sega's GP...We sat there from 12.30pm till 4am...We were the last customers left and pity the waiter, they have to wait for us to leave...We talked, we laughed, we talk, we laughed...Hahahaha..It was a good exercise for my mouth...

I woke up at 2pm the next day feeling so 'freshhhhh' and lazy!!! It' s been a while since I last had my 'good-night' sleep... Then, me and boyfie headed to QB and my GOD, the jam was longer than a giant caterpillar and then only I remembered that it was public holiday..So I told boyfie to park at open-parking lot instead of having to line up to get carkpark....no way..We ate Nando's for lunch and the crowd was 'full-filling'..We had to dashed through 'oceans' of people...And guess what, sales was everywhere and my jaws dropped down but because of the overcrowded humans, I wasn't that keen to lineeeeeeeeee up just to pay my shopping stuff..So we went for a walk...Postponed my shopping to the next day...

BFF is coming to town

As happy as I can be. Bff said she's moving in to Penang this weekend...Woohhoo..Have compnay for gossip and stories..No need to spend my phone calling her anymore...Just an sms or surprise meeting at her house...And to that b****, me and BFF gonna kutuk you till you drop...Bloody b****...We don't f***ing care whether you're gonna die or almost die...Whatever *snap*...

Today can be consider good for.Calls were quite good.

God, please give good health and panjangkan umur my parents

Good to be back home last weekend. But sadly, I had only 1 day to spend with the family. Didn't meet up with friends as time was limited for me. So this time around, I spent the 1 day I had with mummy,daddy and adik and as usual adik has to go for her tuition. It feels so good to be back home. Nothing better to compare.I feel different this time. Felt more attached to the family. Help mummy with house chores. I can see that they're not as strong as they used to be. Wrinkles on the their faces and hands..How fast I grew up...I can still remember house daddy used to run around the house playing catching with us but now he can't barely walk to the kitchen..He looked so tired...Mummy as well..I pray to God to give me strength and courage to work hard so that I can afford to take good care of them like how they used to do it...Sebak rasa hati...

I can't imagine how my life and world would be without them...Even when I lost grandma, it felt so heart-broken,apatah lagi mak bapak sendiri...I rely on them for their encouragement and support..They provided me everything to make sure I have what I have now...I feel very blessful and greatful for the achievement I got today...I used to give up in almost everything I do but they gave me moral support and push me harder...

I always pray that God will always panjangkan umur my parent so that they can enjoy a good life. Just sit back and relax. I really miss them a lot. I've been having this kind of fear. Fear that I'll get a phone call one day from someone to inform me that they are gone...

Yesterday, when daddy sent me to the bus station, I salam him and feel so sebak. I didn't cry though but berat sangat hati nak tinggalkan family. Mummy didn't tag along as she followed the neighbour to the supermarket. I salam her first before she went off, she didn't look at my face but I gave her a kiss on the cheeks. I shed some tears....It was very hard to leave them yesterday and I don't know why..

when we were young

Well, I believe that most of us went through a very rebellious years when we were teenage. And yes, I did too but compare to the rebellious behavior with today's teenager are totally different.

When we were young, the things that we did really upset our parents but not to a point where it made our parents speechless or not bothered anymore. But today youngsters are so lucky, they have handphones at the age of 12 years old, PSP at the age of 10, nintendo Wii at the age of maybe 15 and best part is few weeks back, I was at a mall with boyfie, so we were chatting and I saw a girl who's using a Sony Ericsson that is worth $2000 so I showed boyfie and he said 'See la, parents nowadays really spoil the kid'... Part of it I agreed but what about kind that comes from a good upbringing but still end up spoil????You can't blame their friends or peers..Yes, they maybe easily influenced by many things when they are 16 but what are the reasons??? Family? Friends?..

it feels good to be back

Well, pictures tell a million stories. As you can see, I looked happy right? Yes indeed. Being able to go back home after few months of 'hard labor' is definitely a good therapy. at least this is what I need. A break from the stress and tension of work. I miss boyfie at the same:-(

Anyway, reached home and put down my bag. Lazing around in the room with air condition on. Soothing...aarrgghh..Feels like giving in my resignation letter and just relax...As if like the money will just 'rain' on me...How good if it does.

Oohh how I missed home cook food. Ate mummy's cook,fish and vege...It is simple but there is nothing more delicious than your own home cook dish.

Work is tiring and there are times where I really gave up and just want to walk away from everything..It was stressful week last week...

BFF is moving down to Penang and she got transfered from Putrajaya...Woohoo...At least we can meet often now...I'm so happy...I have boyfie and BFF in the same place and at the same time.. At least I have more company...

even if we just met

Well, how time flew so fast and some of my colleagues are going off pursuing their dreams. Even though I have just join the team but I felt close to them especially Rina, Winnie,Sam. Winnie looks garang but she's nice and very motivational. I fell comfortable working with her. The pictures above was taken during Rina's farewell dinner which was yesterday. it was fun. We had the dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Food was ok but because we often have Japanese so it feel muak sikit. I reached there at about 8pm. Drove from the office.

And today Rina cried as she said she misses the friendship she has long built.I wanted to cry as well earlier but I 'tahan' my tears. It was quite dramatic. I'm going to miss her dearly actual fact as she jokes alot and teach me a lot of things. Everyone is leaving and I feel all alone over here. Honestly....Sadly...

Been going back quite late lately due to heavy workload and due to learning on how to use our new order management system.I can tell you that it is 'awesome'.

Anyway, going back to Perlis tomorrow and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

This picture was taken 1 week back. It was Mona's engagement day in Kulim...Me and boyfie got lost while trying to find the venue of her ocassion...God knows where..I thought Perlis was dull, you couldn't imagine how dull can this place be compare to Perlis.Anyway, we started our road trip at about 7.30pm and reached there at about 9.30pm...Imagine that...Lucky there was food left for us. The first thing I did was,I find her and give her the tightest hug and guess what,we both cried...Aaww...She was a good friend of mine...We used to stay together for about 3 years. She was the best housemate ever. Yes, we do had our arguments,but we made up in the end. But it was fun.I miss her a lot.If I were given the chance to stay with her again,I'll definitely say yes.

Out with the group and good friend's enagagement

Went out with BFF Khang and Fifi to QB after work. Sent food to boyfie first.He didn't joined along as he has class to attend.Sad...Anyway, went for lunch with them and then later on met up with Riana and Yazid...As usual they're 2 hours late..We expected that...Fifi bought Forever 21 big clutch, Elianto mascara and Etude eyeshadow...I bought a Forever 21 bow belt...Black in color..Its like RM9..Value for money...wanted to buy skinny jean,RM119 but boyfie said how many would I want to wear...True....I have tonnes on jean but I only wear just a few...What a waste of money....

Then boyfie and me went to Mona's engagement party in Kulim...The journey was ages,and we got lost for almost 2 hours...But upon reaching there, I went straight to meet her...FYI, she was my ex-housemate and a good friend of mine.We had a lot of goodtimes together..I miss her a lot.. We were very close back in college years...her fiancee is sooo handsome...Mona, I was just kidding, but he is handsome...Hahahaha...I cried when I saw her...tears of joy...The last we met was many years back, right before she moved out after finishing her diploma studies. But we still keep in touch through sms....Well, she's gonna get married in December and will be moving to Ipoh with her husband...I' going to miss her dearly...She helped me a lot....
Yes, we do have arguements sometimes but we still remain good friends...

when customer says 'This is bullshit'

I'm not sure has anyone get a customer that says 'Look, this is bullshit' before???? I do and almost everyday..Some say worst than that..Honestly...It is sick and tired...To those customer out there, it's not my fault if what you see and what is available is not the same...We can't keep on offering the same...We are doing our job...And remember that you are not Bill Gate that has your own company..You're just an employee like me who rely on your company for your montly pay. You're nobody so its better for you customers to watch what is coming out of your mouth...Don't be a rude asshole..Think twice before you want to say anything....

after weeks of struggle

Well, its been 3 weeks of hell. Been working 6am shift for the past like...3 weeks??? But I enjoyed because no one will disturb and I get more calls ;-).

I'm blogging from my office actually.Calls are low and not much things to do.Had Indian food for lunch. Elizabeth's mum cooked and it is delicious....Maybe because I prefer Indian food.

Khang's in Penang.Will be going out with him later on. Together with Fifi as well. Boyfie is not sure yet as he has class later in the afternoon but I asked him to skip the class...So bad of me...

Interview was ok last week but I won't put much hope actually....One thing went wrong but I'll keep it to myself.Kind of embarassing to tell the whole world...Most of the interviewees are like...30 plus and some are married.I think I'm the youngest one...I was the first to be called. Interviewer was a girl and a guy...Pretty friendly...Most questions are about myself, on why do I choose MBA and what will I benefit from the course...I 'goreng'everything out...Said what ever that comes across my head at that point...You should see the look of my face...Blur,fake and nervous...I wore baju kurung...Konon nak tunjuk ayu la.

BFF got her Government posting at Majlis Keselamatan Negara. Her first day was on Monday(5th April)..I called on that day..She sounded excited though...Girlfriend, I hope you'll find yourself a cute and handsome guy...Most important is a guy that loves you for who you're and takde pasang2 ok...I'll always pray for...I love you babe...

It's already April and I'm looking forward to May and June.Not that I'm gonna get married or something.Will update you guys when I get the news.

happy easter 2010

Wishing everyone a very Happy Easter 2010

The after gamble

Well, its been 2 weeks since my trip to Genting Higlands with my previous team members. FYI, boyfie tag along and you won't imagined what happen in Genting....I threw up!!!... But it was fun though. And we went to the casino...first time for me and boyfie. It was cold but as the place is small, so there's not much things to do...We spent our time eating...BURGER KING...And boyfie bought 3 pieces of burger back to Penang...There's no BK in Penang....Lame...

Well been working hard for the past 2 weeks and has been a very hectic week for me..Time is running fast as well.....

Missing the family a lot lately..Called adik and daddy few days back..Hhmm..

Got an interview for my masters intake next Monday.very nervous but not sure what to expect for the interview. I've never heard of interview for master's study before in my life...

Looking forward for a better week next week...Fingers crossed...