feels like slapping the living s***

As per the title above, that's how stressful I am. Feels like chocking someone.. Everything is so messy.God...I'm starting my masters next month and I'm not sure whether I can divide my time between work and uni...This is so tense. Anyway, working on Sunday morning when everyone is still sleeping...Boyfie spent most of his time 'dating' with his PS2. We didn't catch any movie yesterday. Lucky or else I'll be dead. Woke up late this morning but reached work on time... Pheww...

movie date with boyfie and an evening with the girls

Went out with BFF and her cousin, Intan. Attended a beauty class in Pulau Tikus (Belissa Row). It was fun. And met Thipah as she invited us to join. It's a 2 hours class and filled with fun. We got the opportunity to try out the products ( Mary Kay). It was good. the after effect is immediately. I was immediately hooked to the products and went back home to 'negotiate with boyfie...hahahha.. After the class, we went to QB, BFF and her cousin wanted to buy a set of CROC shoes (they have big jumble sales beside BORDERS). I fell in love with this one

It's only RM60. So I tried it on, sadly it doesn't fit me even though it is size W4. Too many people has tried on the shoe, so possible reason is it expanded. So I ended empty handed. Only BFF managed to bought this one. I liked this but coulnd't find my size. *sobbing*.

And we went back about 9pm, so I hung out at BFF's place while waiting for boyfie to watch midnite movie. We watched Karate Kid. It was not bad. Full of cuteness and actions. Imgaine Will Smith's skinny tight son has a six pack...GOD....

wedding dinner

Picture was taken last Saturday in conjunction of Kamini's wedding dinner. Went with boyfie and Dinesh. Bumped into a few college classmates. All of them are working now. And till now I can't believe that Kamini is married. It was held in Chee Hoon Khor Moral Uplifting Centre. It feels like just yesterday I went to her house for our weekly study group. How time flies. I miss those days. Years without pressure, just plain fun. Exclude the exam part. No one likes that ok.

Anyway, work is getting hectic and I hate that. I'm exhausted. F**** exhausted. With my master's class starting next month. I hope I can coupe with my classes despite of my work schedule.

last night at home

Came back from town after picking up mummy from the bus station. Before that, daddy and me went for dinner at a nasi kandar stall that I used to eat when I was small.. They still taste the same and was looking around the area thinking how time flew so fast....I wish I could come back and work here..Closer to the family..I miss them so badly....

After picking up mummy, went to KFC as mummy hadn't had her lunch and dinner yet. Since adik finish her tuition at 10, so we sat there until she finishes her tuition...

blogger is back home

I'm back in Perlis. Reached yesterday. Finished work at 3pm and rushed back to pack my things. Lucky to get a ticket at a very last minute. Boyfie said if no ticket, he'll send me to Alor Star bus station. Aaww, so sweet of him. Anyway, I woke up at 11am and till now, I'm a stinky as hasn't take my bath yet. Ahahahaha... I felt sooooo excited to be back home....The smell of a small town gives me the heart-beep. Daddy is in the room resting, adik is at her friend house for a group study and mummy is on her way back to Perlis from KL...A long 3 weeks holiday for her:-)..

Daddy suggested me to find a house in Penang as he assumed I might settle down in Penang. Oohh ya, my master's application has approved and I'm starting my class this coming July in USM. I'm so excited. I did not expect I'll get through as I think I busted during the interview session. Big-time some more.Anyway, now that I'm in, I have to focus on getting my masters done, get a better and stable job. Some savings and plan for my wedding...

BFF is in KL, I believe. And she'll be heading to Trengganu tomorrow for training which will take about a week...I hope she'll manage to pull through the nights in Trengganu..Ahahaha...Good luck BFF....

will it do any harm if a girl keep texting your man?

Well said in the title. Not that I say your man is cheating on you. But what will you think if your man's colleague keeps texting or calling your guy even after office hour, weekend and other day even after they meet each other every single fucking weekdays? Horror isn't it...Worst part is if you feel like there's nothing you can do, right??? Horrible feeling I can tell you...

Imagine this...Your man's colleague msged your boyfie everytime for no reason. Yes, you can msg a guy to ask how are you................If you both don't meet each other for a very long time.. But in this case, both of them meet each other every fucking weekdays....What the fuck...Yes, your man does all this in front of you. His intention is just messaging a friend and not more than that but the girl don't understand that what she does is wrong. Or maybe pretend to not understand. There's limitation of having a work relationship with a man, especially if he's taken. I'm not accusing anyone over here but if anyone feels threaten or something, then you know the drill.

I'm not a control freak but if this kind of thing happen, don't you feel weird??? I'm not against friendship between a guy and a girl as I have guy friends more than girls but if it's over the board, what will you do???...

So girl, you know what to do....

today was a fairytale

Well, good things will come eventually if you have the patience. Enough said, boyfie came back after all my hard prayers, my tears and what-so-ever-nonsense nightmares i had for the past few days. We celebrated by having a simple dinner at Friday's and movie later on, The Bounty Hunter. Honestly, I give 4 stars. The only reason I still honoring the stars is because there are some romantic parts in the movie. Movie lasted about 2 hours I think. Due to lack of rest for the past few days, my eyes was watery and I was exhausted. But happy at the same time as boyfie has come back.

Anyway, I'm having Q2 kick-off dinner later tonight ar Bagan bar and restaurant. Looking forward for free food.Hahaha...Who does not...Sadly, I can't bring boyfie along. If possible, I would want to drag him everywhere. Pity him...

Anyway, I'm recovered from my fever, but not 100% yet. Still having bad cough and flu. I hate the weather.

Most important of all, I've learnt my lesson for the past few days. Trust your man especially if he does not have any history of cheating. And never ever take him for granted. A relationship is based on give-and-take policy. But for all the girls out there, don't take people's boyfriend for granted as well... Sometimes being too close to other people's boyfriend can lead to misunderstanding eventhough they're just friends. Well you know, GOD gave us brain to think,so use it and play safe. Why want to get yourself into trouble or being the caused of separation in other people's relationship???

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, PEOPLE!!!

lonely,pathetic and sick.

I guess blogspot will be my 'best friend' for the next God-knows how many more days.

I didn't sleep at all yesterday night. Been turning around the bed, in and out the toilet, heart pumping so fast, sweating and when I tried to sleep, half way through, I had nightmare..I had to wake up and washed my face. The nightmare seems so real and I can't differentiate which is reality and which is dream. I was so scared. I turned on the light and eventually its already 4.30am. So I though, since I can't sleep, might as well I take a shower and head to the office earlier to clear my email. God, hundreds of emails to clear and I managed to clear them. Pphheeww..I looked at the mirror this morning and GOD, I looked like a walking corpse.

I lost appetite in eating, keeping myself in the room, staring at the 4 white walls and now I start drawing...Imagine how pathetic it is. I miss boyfie extremely a lot. The house has been very quiet. I miss his jokes, his smile, his laughter, everything about him. I've never felt this much lost before. I know I made a mistake previously but I'm willing to do anything to make him come back.He's my strength and my support. He took good care of me and accept me the way I am. No one can ever replace him.

When you have that perfect someone, you would want to keep forever.This is what I feel at the moment.

i miss my family and boyfie when i'm sick

Today is my second day of having fever. To be honest,I feel like going back to my hometown. At least there's daddy and mummy to take care of me. And boyfie is not around as well. I miss him a lot. Extremely a lot. The house has been very quiet lately. No one is at home. House mate is away. So its just me and myself. Went out for lunch with Fifi and BFF. Don't know what to eat. Then went to Popular book store. Bought myself a sketching book and a whole set of magic pen. Reached home, sat down at the table and start drawing. Imagine how pathetic my life is!!!! Worst part is the TV has die on me. Not sure when am I gonna buy a new TV.

B, please come back faster. I really miss you a lot....

Lucky that BFF is in Penang or else I'll go crazy. Even though I'm sick, I have to do everything on my own..It sucks, you know...Now I know how it feels when there's nobody to help you to do anything especially when you're sick...First day when I had fever, I actually cried..Because I miss daddy, I miss mummy and I miss boyfie very much. I had high fever and I was scared as well. Scared that in case anything happens, no one will be at home to help me...

fever visited me

Picture was taken quite some time as I didn't have time to actually upload. It was roughly a month ago. We had lunch in Fridays. Boyfie ordered his favourite steak and I ordered mac and cheese something. Can't remember the actual name. Looked good in the menu but it came in a big potion. I can't exactly finish it up so boyfie took some.

Picture was taken when we just arrived in Gurney Drive soon after we had our dinner. Its been a while since the both of us actually hang-out till late a night. We went back around 3am.Gosh. reached home and called boyfie but there was no answer on the phone. So I assumed that he was sleeping and I was correct when I called him again the next day. He was down with high fever. And today it is my turn.Had high fever in office since morning but I did not went back as I didn't want to go back home half way through.

As you can see the picture above, I was wondering why on earth does people like her has the 'courage' to actually put on an outfit like that. Gosh, pain in the eyes..I bumped into this girl when I was sitting by Gurney Drive with BFF,Alla. We were actually waiting for our movie to start at 11pm. It was on Saturday night and just so you know that boyfie was in KL at that time. I didn't mention to BFF but I know eventually she'll read this post..Hahahaha

sure enough worth fighting for

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse (curse)
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt.

Is it better? Is it worse?
Always sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards.

I know where I want this to go
We're driving fast but lets go slow
But I don't want us to crash no.

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic
Love aint no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark.

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

I don't know where we're heading
I'm willing and ready to go.

We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down
And just role.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quiting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh).

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
It's worth having, it's worth fighting for (Oh...).

Happy Mother's Day mummy

Wishing you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
Moga dipanjangkan umur dan murah rezeki.

Thank you for all that you have done for our family.

Those sleepleess night you have during years of taking care of us.

Those sweat that we caused while waiting for us to finish school.

While waiting for us to finish our music class.

The dishes that you prepare for us for lunch,dinner and breakfat.

And everything.

We love you,Mummy!!!

One of the people I care most

Well, as you can see on the title, the man in the picture is the man that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. He's peeeeeerfect in every way except when he jokes:-) (he thinks that I'm big in size)..Hahaha.We've been together for the past 2 1/2 years and still going strong. And throughout these years, he showers me with care,love and affection even though he don't say it out loud (guys and ego are a set). If you ask me whether is he worth it? I'll say yes because I bet you that I might not find someone like him. He cheers me up when my day is terribly bad and stood by me when I almost falling apart. He accepted my clause and never once complain. He put me first on top of his priorities. He make sure that I'm safe everytime I'm with him. He takes good care of me when I'm sick and even though sometimes he nag, it's for my own good.

I always pray that both of us will last forever and I never want to set my eyes on another man, not anymore.

I have my insecurities, and he gave me an assurance. He's loyal and faithful and it is hard to find that kind of man in this modern days.He respect and accepted me for who I am. But sometimes, when things goes wrong, worry starts to haunt me. Worry that I might lose him to someone better. I know he won't cheat as he is not a 2 timer man. Like I said, he's loyal and faithful.

Everyday I look forward to see him after work, go for a simple dinner or movie. And he don't mind if I wear my sleeping attire for the dinner as long as I'm comfortable.And he prefers my bare-face instead of make-ups all over. I do wear light make-ups for certain occasion. Make-up and girl are one:-).

I just want him to know that, even though sometimes we argued about the smalls things, but I want him to know that, I'm looking forward to a better life with him, through sick and health and through rich and poor. I'll never dump him for any other man and he's the only man in my life apart from daddy.

Putting into words about his characteristic won't be enough as the list will never end. But what is put into this blog is sure enough to explain how good he is in my eyes.What epople think,does not matter because at the end of the day, I lead my own life not anyone else. And when you're in trouble, these are the people that you'll think of first.

boyfie is old enough to get married

Well, 30th April was boyfie's birthday. We went out to Gurney Plaza with his colleague as well. Watched Iron Man 2..It was crowded..Holy s***...And saw a few people that I wish I don't bumped into...I didn't even say hi...Well, past that off...

Anyway, movie started at 10pm.. So all of us met up in 7th floor for dinner...7 of us left from 12 of us who should be attending the dinner and movie...Then, at a very last minute, 1 attendee canceled the movie-date...That's it.. So during movie, only 11 of us left...So after movie, we didn't know where to head..Club???It will be jam pack as it is labor day and Monday will be a holiday as a replacement holiday for 1st May that falls on Saturday...And I can say, club is the worst place to be during any public holiday..Place will be damn humid,hot,sweaty adn uncomfortable...People will bump into you escpecially drunkers, they will talk nonsense....And I don't like that...So everyone decided to have a drink at Sega's GP...We sat there from 12.30pm till 4am...We were the last customers left and pity the waiter, they have to wait for us to leave...We talked, we laughed, we talk, we laughed...Hahahaha..It was a good exercise for my mouth...

I woke up at 2pm the next day feeling so 'freshhhhh' and lazy!!! It' s been a while since I last had my 'good-night' sleep... Then, me and boyfie headed to QB and my GOD, the jam was longer than a giant caterpillar and then only I remembered that it was public holiday..So I told boyfie to park at open-parking lot instead of having to line up to get carkpark....no way..We ate Nando's for lunch and the crowd was 'full-filling'..We had to dashed through 'oceans' of people...And guess what, sales was everywhere and my jaws dropped down but because of the overcrowded humans, I wasn't that keen to lineeeeeeeeee up just to pay my shopping stuff..So we went for a walk...Postponed my shopping to the next day...

BFF is coming to town

As happy as I can be. Bff said she's moving in to Penang this weekend...Woohhoo..Have compnay for gossip and stories..No need to spend my phone calling her anymore...Just an sms or surprise meeting at her house...And to that b****, me and BFF gonna kutuk you till you drop...Bloody b****...We don't f***ing care whether you're gonna die or almost die...Whatever *snap*...

Today can be consider good for.Calls were quite good.

God, please give good health and panjangkan umur my parents

Good to be back home last weekend. But sadly, I had only 1 day to spend with the family. Didn't meet up with friends as time was limited for me. So this time around, I spent the 1 day I had with mummy,daddy and adik and as usual adik has to go for her tuition. It feels so good to be back home. Nothing better to compare.I feel different this time. Felt more attached to the family. Help mummy with house chores. I can see that they're not as strong as they used to be. Wrinkles on the their faces and hands..How fast I grew up...I can still remember house daddy used to run around the house playing catching with us but now he can't barely walk to the kitchen..He looked so tired...Mummy as well..I pray to God to give me strength and courage to work hard so that I can afford to take good care of them like how they used to do it...Sebak rasa hati...

I can't imagine how my life and world would be without them...Even when I lost grandma, it felt so heart-broken,apatah lagi mak bapak sendiri...I rely on them for their encouragement and support..They provided me everything to make sure I have what I have now...I feel very blessful and greatful for the achievement I got today...I used to give up in almost everything I do but they gave me moral support and push me harder...

I always pray that God will always panjangkan umur my parent so that they can enjoy a good life. Just sit back and relax. I really miss them a lot. I've been having this kind of fear. Fear that I'll get a phone call one day from someone to inform me that they are gone...

Yesterday, when daddy sent me to the bus station, I salam him and feel so sebak. I didn't cry though but berat sangat hati nak tinggalkan family. Mummy didn't tag along as she followed the neighbour to the supermarket. I salam her first before she went off, she didn't look at my face but I gave her a kiss on the cheeks. I shed some tears....It was very hard to leave them yesterday and I don't know why..

when we were young

Well, I believe that most of us went through a very rebellious years when we were teenage. And yes, I did too but compare to the rebellious behavior with today's teenager are totally different.

When we were young, the things that we did really upset our parents but not to a point where it made our parents speechless or not bothered anymore. But today youngsters are so lucky, they have handphones at the age of 12 years old, PSP at the age of 10, nintendo Wii at the age of maybe 15 and best part is few weeks back, I was at a mall with boyfie, so we were chatting and I saw a girl who's using a Sony Ericsson that is worth $2000 so I showed boyfie and he said 'See la, parents nowadays really spoil the kid'... Part of it I agreed but what about kind that comes from a good upbringing but still end up spoil????You can't blame their friends or peers..Yes, they maybe easily influenced by many things when they are 16 but what are the reasons??? Family? Friends?..

it feels good to be back

Well, pictures tell a million stories. As you can see, I looked happy right? Yes indeed. Being able to go back home after few months of 'hard labor' is definitely a good therapy. at least this is what I need. A break from the stress and tension of work. I miss boyfie at the same:-(

Anyway, reached home and put down my bag. Lazing around in the room with air condition on. Soothing...aarrgghh..Feels like giving in my resignation letter and just relax...As if like the money will just 'rain' on me...How good if it does.

Oohh how I missed home cook food. Ate mummy's cook,fish and vege...It is simple but there is nothing more delicious than your own home cook dish.

Work is tiring and there are times where I really gave up and just want to walk away from everything..It was stressful week last week...

BFF is moving down to Penang and she got transfered from Putrajaya...Woohoo...At least we can meet often now...I'm so happy...I have boyfie and BFF in the same place and at the same time.. At least I have more company...

even if we just met

Well, how time flew so fast and some of my colleagues are going off pursuing their dreams. Even though I have just join the team but I felt close to them especially Rina, Winnie,Sam. Winnie looks garang but she's nice and very motivational. I fell comfortable working with her. The pictures above was taken during Rina's farewell dinner which was yesterday. it was fun. We had the dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Food was ok but because we often have Japanese so it feel muak sikit. I reached there at about 8pm. Drove from the office.

And today Rina cried as she said she misses the friendship she has long built.I wanted to cry as well earlier but I 'tahan' my tears. It was quite dramatic. I'm going to miss her dearly actual fact as she jokes alot and teach me a lot of things. Everyone is leaving and I feel all alone over here. Honestly....Sadly...

Been going back quite late lately due to heavy workload and due to learning on how to use our new order management system.I can tell you that it is 'awesome'.

Anyway, going back to Perlis tomorrow and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

This picture was taken 1 week back. It was Mona's engagement day in Kulim...Me and boyfie got lost while trying to find the venue of her ocassion...God knows where..I thought Perlis was dull, you couldn't imagine how dull can this place be compare to Perlis.Anyway, we started our road trip at about 7.30pm and reached there at about 9.30pm...Imagine that...Lucky there was food left for us. The first thing I did was,I find her and give her the tightest hug and guess what,we both cried...Aaww...She was a good friend of mine...We used to stay together for about 3 years. She was the best housemate ever. Yes, we do had our arguments,but we made up in the end. But it was fun.I miss her a lot.If I were given the chance to stay with her again,I'll definitely say yes.

Out with the group and good friend's enagagement

Went out with BFF Khang and Fifi to QB after work. Sent food to boyfie first.He didn't joined along as he has class to attend.Sad...Anyway, went for lunch with them and then later on met up with Riana and Yazid...As usual they're 2 hours late..We expected that...Fifi bought Forever 21 big clutch, Elianto mascara and Etude eyeshadow...I bought a Forever 21 bow belt...Black in color..Its like RM9..Value for money...wanted to buy skinny jean,RM119 but boyfie said how many would I want to wear...True....I have tonnes on jean but I only wear just a few...What a waste of money....

Then boyfie and me went to Mona's engagement party in Kulim...The journey was ages,and we got lost for almost 2 hours...But upon reaching there, I went straight to meet her...FYI, she was my ex-housemate and a good friend of mine.We had a lot of goodtimes together..I miss her a lot.. We were very close back in college years...her fiancee is sooo handsome...Mona, I was just kidding, but he is handsome...Hahahaha...I cried when I saw her...tears of joy...The last we met was many years back, right before she moved out after finishing her diploma studies. But we still keep in touch through sms....Well, she's gonna get married in December and will be moving to Ipoh with her husband...I' going to miss her dearly...She helped me a lot....
Yes, we do have arguements sometimes but we still remain good friends...

when customer says 'This is bullshit'

I'm not sure has anyone get a customer that says 'Look, this is bullshit' before???? I do and almost everyday..Some say worst than that..Honestly...It is sick and tired...To those customer out there, it's not my fault if what you see and what is available is not the same...We can't keep on offering the same...We are doing our job...And remember that you are not Bill Gate that has your own company..You're just an employee like me who rely on your company for your montly pay. You're nobody so its better for you customers to watch what is coming out of your mouth...Don't be a rude asshole..Think twice before you want to say anything....

after weeks of struggle

Well, its been 3 weeks of hell. Been working 6am shift for the past like...3 weeks??? But I enjoyed because no one will disturb and I get more calls ;-).

I'm blogging from my office actually.Calls are low and not much things to do.Had Indian food for lunch. Elizabeth's mum cooked and it is delicious....Maybe because I prefer Indian food.

Khang's in Penang.Will be going out with him later on. Together with Fifi as well. Boyfie is not sure yet as he has class later in the afternoon but I asked him to skip the class...So bad of me...

Interview was ok last week but I won't put much hope actually....One thing went wrong but I'll keep it to myself.Kind of embarassing to tell the whole world...Most of the interviewees are like...30 plus and some are married.I think I'm the youngest one...I was the first to be called. Interviewer was a girl and a guy...Pretty friendly...Most questions are about myself, on why do I choose MBA and what will I benefit from the course...I 'goreng'everything out...Said what ever that comes across my head at that point...You should see the look of my face...Blur,fake and nervous...I wore baju kurung...Konon nak tunjuk ayu la.

BFF got her Government posting at Majlis Keselamatan Negara. Her first day was on Monday(5th April)..I called on that day..She sounded excited though...Girlfriend, I hope you'll find yourself a cute and handsome guy...Most important is a guy that loves you for who you're and takde pasang2 ok...I'll always pray for...I love you babe...

It's already April and I'm looking forward to May and June.Not that I'm gonna get married or something.Will update you guys when I get the news.

happy easter 2010

Wishing everyone a very Happy Easter 2010

The after gamble

Well, its been 2 weeks since my trip to Genting Higlands with my previous team members. FYI, boyfie tag along and you won't imagined what happen in Genting....I threw up!!!... But it was fun though. And we went to the casino...first time for me and boyfie. It was cold but as the place is small, so there's not much things to do...We spent our time eating...BURGER KING...And boyfie bought 3 pieces of burger back to Penang...There's no BK in Penang....Lame...

Well been working hard for the past 2 weeks and has been a very hectic week for me..Time is running fast as well.....

Missing the family a lot lately..Called adik and daddy few days back..Hhmm..

Got an interview for my masters intake next Monday.very nervous but not sure what to expect for the interview. I've never heard of interview for master's study before in my life...

Looking forward for a better week next week...Fingers crossed...

typical people around us

Well,just finished talking to a customer...Normal routine..Looked through some of the post posted in FB.Some sounded weird,lame,ridiculous,arrogant...Well too many to list down.. But above all, I'm happy to see some of them are happily married, getting married not including those who got divorced...I'm sorry to hear that.Not sure when will it be my turn.But not anytime soon...

I've started reading finance books and magazine. Starting to be a bookworm as used to in uni. Fingers crossed hoping that my master application come through.

Nothing much to blurp actually.I miss my hometown and my family.The last I went back was 4th day of Chinese New Year..I took a 5 days leave that ended me regretting for not paying a visit to grandma's place.It was a disaster...Seriously...

I'm currently planning getting my blogshop up and running for the next few month to come. As I mentioned earlier in my blog that I want to work from home.Well this is what I like I guess. Being entrepreneur..Don't have to crack my head everyday at work...

my heart is pouding fast

Thing has not been great for me since last month. Firstly I lost the car key, then the housekey and my handphone. God, I pray to you to give me the strength to go through all this...

Since grandma passed away,everything seems dull to me.The only thing that make me laugh and smile are my colleagues, BFF alla, khang,fifi, dearest boyfie and the family. The rest is just dull. I don't really speak much now but because of my work nature, I forced myself to. I hold this guilt inside me for blaming myself of not having to visit my grandma and I never knew last year's Chinese New Year will be my last visit. If I knew things would work out this way, I would have gone back instead of pressuring myself for the money.

there are some thing money can't buy

It was a very sad day for the family last week as grandma passed away at her home in Seberang Takir, Kuala Trengganu. The worst thing ever happened to me in my entire life. I can't show how much guilt and regret I have. I was supposed to go back for Chinese New Year celebration as I do it every year but for this year instead of going back to visit grandma, I choosed to work just for the sake of the triple pay as it was public holiday...Therefore I went to work as usual and my shift was from 9.30am to 2.30pm.So happily thinking about the money, I ignored the time of celebrating the joyous day with the family...

So 3 weeks after that, on Sunday morning(7th march), I received a call from daddy saying that grandma has passed away..I was holy shocked and I cried instantly reminiscing the regret of not going back to visit her..I asked daddy again whether it's a prank or real...And he said, it is real and that they're going back to Trengganu the next day (morning). They came down that night and we went back early the next morning...Heart was pouding as I still hope that they're wrong...When we reach, I took a peek at grandma's coffin and tears came swimming down my tears..I couldn't hold my tears back and with full of regret in me...We sat for a while and about 5pm we checked into the hotel..Had shower and a change of new clothes...Waiting for the Buddha priest to come...part of the tradition...When the part where we have to go round grandma's coffin, I saw daddy was crying and it made me cry too...I grew up with her and I would call her once in a while just to check on her...

The 3rd was the day where she'll be bury..So we followed the car that carries her coffin to the cemetery ground... the worst part was when seeing they closed her coffin and bury her...We were hoping that she'll bang at the coffin case to tell us that she's still alive...But no sound....I hugged daddy and cried for the last time...

I've learnt the biggest lesson ever, money is really not everything...I'll carry this regret forever...

God, please give me the strength...

Been back home since Wednesday night and will be heading back to Penang tomorrow afternoon. Feels hesitated to go back actually. I'm still on holiday mood. Having to work in a new environment and requires your talking and convincing skills take up a lot of energy and by end of the day, I'm extremely exhausted. Even though I'm on leave, my mind still think about on my work... Well, I'm torn between staying or walk out...I know it's just 3 months but the pressure and workload is like tonnes...Maybe because I'm not used to it yet or maybe it is just not my thing...

Having not able to go back for Chinese New Year make me think whether it's worth to continue my current job or just leave it...Eventually, I still need a job in order to survive...I'm still finding work that I can operate from home and having the flexibility of my own...I realized that my new job takes up most of my 24 hours time...I don't even have a second to breath...By the time I leave work, I'm so tired and sometimes don't even feel like having dinner...No appetite... I dragged myself up each day to go to work...I'm not sure the reason why, maybe because I don't like the job or just because I'm tired....Anyway, I'm still searching...

Sometimes, when things get tough, it feels like the whole world came tumbling down on me and that no one can help me...Its like I'm in a lonely dark world....Struggling to survive...I miss college years actually, care free mind...Need not to worry anything apart from exam...But since I started work, commitment came down on me...It feels heavy..So I'm not sure whether I can carry the responsibilities of a wife in the future.....

Not every feeling can be describe by words....I don't have the heart to talk out with the family as I don't want them to worry as well as think that I'm unreliable...I miss my good old high school days and turning back is impossible and I know that everyone will grow eventually...That is the cycle of life...

Each day in Penang passes by so slow and I feel like I can count by fingers...I miss my family every time I'm down with hard times...I pray every night that God give me the strength to go through every obstacles that come in between me, that God blessed me with good people and companion and that God will protect everyone that I care and love...

after CNY and having family time.

These are a few sneak peeks of what's happening during the previous Chineses New Year(I was working on that day)...All of the family members were there except for ME!!! Sad isn't it??? I kind of miss the family reunion actually. Daddy said this year was quite different except for the fact that grandma's health is worsen...

I'm at my home in Perlis currently. Felt so good to be here...Its been a while since I last came back..Nothing change..I love the smell of ikan goreng cooked by the neighbour, the sambal belacan smell...Neighbours talking to each other at the gate..We hardly see that in big city... Everyone knows each other basically over here...Going out with my best frined, Yana later in teh evening. It is 4 months since I last met her....She's on a holiday for Chinese New Year...

By the way, my ex-Form 6 friends did some small reunion..BFF, Alla was there as well..She tagged me and I can't attend as I'm working...Bloody work...Talking about work...Will be back to work on Monday...I hate that part....I don't feel like going back to Penang, I mean not now... Time flies too fast...I'm back here on Wednesday night, and today is Friday........I hope I can stop the time from going forward....

pre Valentine and chinese new year

Valentine is around the corner and I have yet to buy gift for the Boyfriend. And I'm working on the day,and CNY falls on the same day as well..Daddy and mummy is coming tomorrow or Saturday morning and they'll be heading back to Trengganu for Chineses New Year and sadly I can't join them this year, FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!. I hate the feeling of not being able to be with family members especially festive season...NO angpow for this year as well...And can't visit grandma....

work from home

It is Wednesday and every mall are jam packed with shoppers shopping for Chinese New Year. With the sales that are going on, makes it even worst....It make me sad at the same time as I'm not able to celebrate this year due to work commitment...Sometimes to think of it, will people appreciate what we do? Or they'll pass you by like you're not important at all...Sadly, I always say yes to what ever people's request........

Don't have the mood to go to work today actually but I dragged myself up though, with my eyes shut while walking.It is exhausting and tiring to work in the wee hours(mind you, I work at 5am). While some people are still dreaming, I have to wake up at 3.30am,brush my teeth, cold bath and have breakfast and best of all is my breaktime is at 8am!!!!That is the time where people starts to eat breakfast and I'm already on my break...I wonder when can I drive a BMW and goes to work whenever time I want...So good isn't it....Dream la...

Well, was thinking of getting a job that I can do from home (work from la konon). Had this so called 'project', can't even stick my butt at the table for 5 minutes, how the hell I want to work from home. It looks easy when you see someone else doing it but discipline is important...

CNY shopping

Went for Chinese shopping with BFFs. The Boyfriend could not tag along as he has class to attend.Too bad.But we hade great time together..It was a quick shopping trip as Khang already knew what he wanted and I'm the one who tagged him along to the fitting room..I hope he like the shirt I choose...I'll definitely buy one for the Boyfriend if I have the extra cash in hand...So sad...Upon reaching QB, we had lunch in Sushi King as Khang was craving for it...FYI, there's no Sushi King in Alor Star..But they have McDonalds,unlike Perlis...OMG!!!....

After lunch, waited for Riana and Yazid, as usual they're late for 30 minutes...We accompanied them for lunch in food court as they do not know where to eat and Yazid only survive on chicken chop, nasi kandar and nasi melayu:-p........Then we had to shop as fast as lightning as Khang need to take a bus to go back to Alor Star..He came for only 1 night...It was nice though even though its only 2 weeks he moved back there,it feels months.......And I hope he liked the shirt we choose for him:-)...

After tired of walking, we stop at J.Co Coffee and Donut...Fifi bought 3 pieces of doughnut and Khang bough ice coffee...As usual, I 'belasah' Khang's drink and Fifi's doughnut...Sorry dearist.... We waited Yazid and Riana...Called them and they were at optical shop to buy contact lenses for Riana (this is her first time)....Then, they met us up in J.Co..We proceeded to the parking...I sent Fifi back on the way home and dropped Khang as the ferry jetty..There goes the goodbye again...

Later evening, went out with the Boyfriend...Watched Avatar but not in 3D...Could not get my hands on the tickets.....Headed home early as supposedly wake up early to clean the house and visit the Boyfriend's mum...End up waking up at 11.30am....Cleaned the house and went to the Boyfriend's house to have lunch...It was a good lunch and fullfilling......Burpppp!!!!!...Headed straight to QB again...Walk around and both 2 bottle of juice (on promo) and headed home...

extra income=extra headache

Well said on the post..Was thinking of finding ways to earn extra income instead of depending on just one job that I'm currently doing...How good it is if I could just blog all day but still earning some income...There's this website referred by a friend of mine which generates money for you.. All you need to do is just refer your friend to the website and make sure the sign up and voala, that's where the money starts...But I don't think that easy as many people might think this is a scam...Well, I was sceptical at frist but I still signed up:-p........

Its Friday and I'm looking forward to weekeend as it has been a hectic week for me...Tiring and exhausted...Has not been able to go back on time even though my shift is over...Is torn apart whether to change my job or just give it a go...But I've been changing too many jobs now...Until then, when can I drive my own BMW...*sigh*....

The Boyfriend has started working now, so most of the things I would have to do on my own... Sad......

untitle

*Weekends was pretty laid back. Went to Sticks( in front of QB) to meet up with Adrian and Nicole.We went back quite early as I have to work the following day(Sunday)..Before that we watched Legion.Was a pretty good movie...Slow at the starting...Not much of actions...

*Watched Tooth Fairy yesterday. Movie was pretty funny. Worked from 9.30 am till 2.30 pm and did not plan to stay back even 5 minutes..Damn tired..Reach homer after work and slept off till 6.30pm.Went out again for dinner in McDonald.Me and the Boyfriend had Regular Ayam Goreng McD.Felt so tired the whole day.

*Today is the Boyfriend first day at work.At last.....Good luck my BB.......

rude people are just annoying and full of crap and i have to work during CNY

Well, it is Sunday afternoon and I'm in the office while some people are still day dreaming on the bed..Waking up at 2pm and watching TV...And I'm stuck in the office for another say 3 hours approximately...Working in a call center is certainly a challenging job...Not many can tolerate different kind of customer...When an annoying cutsomer calls in, in order to release anger is by muting the damn phone and start scolding vulgar words and then unmute the phone and start talking back as usual but faking it...Some even ask stupid question some even ask question after purchasing and blaming everything on the sales rep...What the hack???I'm not looking myself in this line in the next couple of years...I'll age faster and get heart failure faster due to stress... I used to think that the westerners are friendly, professional, classy and etc..The fact is they're cheapo, rude, annoying..Just a few...Not all....Obviously...Well, I can't complain much as at least I have a job...But sometimes, I don't feel like waking up in the morning and get ready to go to work...Its not fun at all....Well, it was my choice to work here, first of all..So what the f*** I want to complain after all.....

Another thing that annoys me is when working in a company where it is dominated by one race...When it comes to festive seasons, MY GOD...Everyone will be taking off holiday..Sadly, I can't celebrate Chinese New Year I have to work on that day...To think, I was better off in the previous company...This job I'm doing currently is totally for money minded human...And I'm not that kind...

To make it short, customers are just plain stupid...

God test our patience

Well, with the recent Dragon tradegy on going incident, it made me realise how powerful God can be. It also made me realise how short life can be...I know that I did not live to the fullest previously but that does not mean it will happen again. I have many plans up ahead and its a matter of time to execute them...Condolense to all the victim's family...May they rest in peace..

With the 'polluted' country we're living in, I'm not sure whether my spouse and future children will have the opportunity to live in peace like how it was 20 years ago...It was so different compare to now..Everything seems to be separating from each other..And plus the ongoing case of using 'Allah' terms for other races, this has caught the attention of international media...It is a shame...For a country that si so called democratic..

Well, to my BFF Khang Wei : DOn't forget us once you're in Jitra. Visit us often and not to forget our movie sessions ok...We'll miss you...

life can be hard sometimes

Talked to BFF yesterday night for about 40 minutes.She told me a whole lot of stories.Well, shame to that 'girl' that her so called boyfriend cheated on her...There must be a reason why someone did that to her...Well, too bad for her I guess....Anyway, congratulation to 'you' on your engagement...Have a happily ever after wedding...If you can still survive your sickness...She is so lame and a big bloody 'loser'...At least your boyfriend cheated on 'you' before.....So childish...But I'm glad that we've confronted each other last year..It was nice to see you pushing away the chairs, with tears in your eyes..It was like a big 'party' for us...Hahahaha...In your face!!!!!!!!!Well, that was the past..

Anyway, work is stressful for me for the past few days.Things are not doing great...I miss the family though...My BFF is leaving for Sabah next week..Well, I miss you, Adelyn.We haven't been communicating with each other lately....

when my mind doesn't go in a straight line

Things have been pretty much hectic and tiring for me and I don't like it. I hate the feeling of getting up early morning and be prepare to go to work.Honestly, I don't know what I want but one thing for sure is I want to have big car,big house and family of my own. But to get to that level, requires a lot of sacrifice and extremely hard work.That is the part where I'm still struggling. I've working for the past 1 year and this is the 3rd job I'm doing....I'm still far from my dream....

Met with my ex-schoolmate back in high school.We had lunch at McDonald Greenlane.To my surprise, he's already married (even though no traditional ceremony yet).Bu then, they are officially legally hisband and wife.Wow, how time flew so fast.He was the chicky one in high school. Nevertheless, to think that he'll be married at this age(not that young though)...He bought a house and I asked the Boyfriend to show me where the area is.The compound was clean, with guarded front gate....Apartment style. At least he owns a house..I'm so envy him. After that it makes me want to earn more money for a better life.

I knew that I have never done much about my life last year so for this year, I want to work hard towards my personal goal :

1. Take good care of Dianah in terms of her education. To provide her with what daddy and mummy have given to me last time.

2. Take care of mummy and daddy so that daddy don't have to work anymore.

3. To save more money so that I could get married.

4. Save money for my old days.

5. Be a good partner, sister, friend and daughter.

Well, these resolution seems easy to achieve but actual fact is, it need a strong will and determination of wanting to achieve them.Well, easy said that doing it. I'll try my best as well.

morning after

Well, started my morning with a cold bath. Was too lazy to wake up due to the weather. It was cloudy for the past few days. It rained for a while this morning.

Drove to work with my lazy eyes, listening to FLY fm morning crew,thinking how good if I could work from home. That is because this morning's topic was about working from home.Interesting topic and what a motivational topic to kick off the morning..Its only Tuesday but I feel like I'm working for the whole week already.Tired and exhausted.

Second day of school for Dianah and she's in Secondary 4 now. How time goes by so fast. I hope she'll do well in SPM.

Been wanting to watch Avatar for the past few weeks but it seems like everyone is still into that movie. Tried to book Avatar 3D but can't...Was supposed to watch Avatar 3D with the Group last weekend but too bad I was down with fever.Did not have the appetite to eat for the last one week. It was miserable.At this time, I wish mummy was here.She'll cook for me, feed me my medicine and would look after me.I miss her so much.

I have got no time for the family since I started working and I'm kind of feel guilty.And miss the family a lot.Its been a while since we all last had our vacation together. With stress from work and all,it would be unlikely that I could make it for Chinese New Year as well.Fingers crossed hoping that I could spend the day with the family.

Everything seems moddy for me....

second day of 2010

Its been a great 2009 for me and the Boyfriend. We spend our new year eve in cinema watching Sherlom Homes...Funny movie I can say...Me and the Boyfriend do not want to have our body sticking to each other in a pool of human...Its disgusting with all the sweats you can smell...EEWW...

Anyway, I hope 2010 will be a better year for me, the family and the Boyfriend...To think back those old times,my previous relationship,it was horrible...

To him,
I'm glad that I dumped you and met someone much better that you,moroon....I never want to se you again or even have thoughts of you your lame ass individualistic...If I had the power to turn back time, I'll definitely stab you in the heart....

May God bless me and the family...May the Boyfriend and me will have the chance to take our relationship into another level, and may my friendship last forever...

Its been a long time

Well, its been more than a month since I last blog about my 'so call' life. Many things has happened but I can't be blogging every single thing. Well, lets start from Christmas... Went to the Boyfriend's house for Christmas as his mother organized a Christmas lunch and dinner. Everything went smoothly...I guess his parents has accpeted me eventually...Now its a matter of how to convince mummy on this..I can feel that he's the one for me...I don't think I can find someone better than this....Drop that anyway.....

Daddy's coming back today and will be fetching hima nd adik later around 7...Ohh ya, Dianah got 8As in her PMR...I'm so proud of you...Well, at least we have a scorer in the house...

Work wise..I'm no longer struggling except when there's too many calls to handle....GOD....Its been a pretty god December for me I guess....Luck is just on my side....2010 is just fingers counting away and I pretty much know what will be my resolution this year and the important note of all is to not over spending anymore....2009 has been a rough year for me and I managed to pull it through by the hard way too...

My cousin passed her exam as well...Congrats...

Well for now, I'll just the night with daddy and adik...

i'm trying to comfort myself

Well, this is my second week on call and I'm glad I managed to achieve a lot of things...yet, I'm still struggling a little bit, not much though....Colleague and bosses has been very helpful and I'm glad as I'm still in the learning process....
I miss the family a lot...Been 2 months since I last went back to Perlis which is for Hari Raya... I'm trying to make as much money as possible....Got some goals I want to achieve, possibly by this year....
Going for dinner with BFF, Khang..the Boyfriend is having his class...

its december

Wow, imagine how fast December comes by...It is almost a month since my first day in the new company...Colleague are super fun, coorperative and helpful...Pressure starts to build up...I'm still trying to get a grip of myself...Sent mummy,daddy and adik to the bus station yesterday as they're leaving for Singapore.I'm happy and glad that I could meet them up even for a short time....Honestly, I miss them badly...and I miss home too.....Too bad I could not tag along...If not it would be fun especially with Christmas around the corner...First time actually...I miss Singapore and miss my cousin,Phat...She's married though.....
Nothing much to update..I've missed my blogging session as my time is totally occupied..Not like in the previous company...

I do miss a few friends back in the old company...

salam aidiladha

Salam Aidiladha to all my blog readers and not to forget my family back in Perlis...And to ex-student SMKPutra, SMKPerlis and ex-student UNITAR batch 2004-2008...

still hanging

Tomorrow will be the ultimate day for me as I'll be on call for the first time and of course I'm nervous...I hope everything goes smoothly...But the sad part is, I have to work and won't be able to celebrate Hari Raya Aidiladha with the family.....

The family will be going off to Singapore next week and I'm stuck here....

adjusting my seating

Fuh, its been ages since the last I logged in my account...I'm trying to adjust to my new work.. Seems ok but has many things to learnt and my brain is like the size of a goldfish....

My team are havoc and laughing is like eating...Hahahaha...I'm glad...Sean quitted(the guy who went the same training as mine)....Will be going out with the Group this coming weekend..Have not confirm yet...

testing

I'm blogging using the Boyfriend's hp.To test whether it can be use or not. I'm trying to get a grip in my new job. For now, it is nice. I hope everything will remain this way. Training ends next week....Many things happened for the past few weeks...Had no chance to update this site as I don't have net access temporary...Lame...Had lots of photes waiting to be uploaded....

smoking is bad for your health

Well, the above title has got nothing to do with today's post...I took this picture while waiting for the Boyfriend to send me to work...Kind a free rite...Hahahaha...

Will be going to GP for my tembuilding session..So freakin' excited..Its gonna be my last day here..Gonna miss the group....

Going out with The Group this coming Sunday and planned to watch Phobia 2...Woohoo...And maybe watching White Out with the Boyfriend on Saturday....

Just to inform my readers that there'll be late posting in this blog as some adjustment of my new work time need to be done...Sorry for the delays....Happy working people....

last day at work before signing off

Today will be my last day at work before signing off and most probably I'll be blogging in some other office or at home...Depends...Sent farewell notes to all my colleagues...Kind of sad actually, not because I have to leave but because some of them are so nice to me...Well, everything has to come to an end eventually...I'll start fresh strating next week...I'll try to be more discipline, try not be lazy anymore.....

I'm out of words actually...Not sure what to say....

The new hire who is going to replace me is with me and I'm coaching her the new task and it is hard....Need not to mention here...Well best part is I'll get to leave Mr.V behind...So lamo...Hate him...

Going for my teambuilding tomorrow..Treasure hunt activit...Woohoo

Dear BFF : Words of encouragement are just the only thing I can provide you..The rest is up to you...Babe, GOD has planned many things for us and He knows what is best for human kind...Whatever comes between you is just a test to see whether or not you're ready for the bigger challenge...These small tests are things that make you stronger and keep you prepared....At this point of time, friends and family are the best company to you...Take some time off from your hectic life and think about what you want in life...Once you waste a day in life, there is no turning back...BFF, I owe you a lot and I know some thing I can't pay you back...We've been tpgether since high school, therefore our bond will never ever break no matter what comes in between us...Our friendship is so strong that I'm willing to do anything to keep my best friend happy.....best friend are the one who not just share our laughter but tears and cry as well...Friends that leave you when you're in need is not a true friend...Just bear in mind that, HE'S NOT WORTH IT and take it as a bad dream and you will wake up from that some day...

new skirt for sale

RM20

suitable for size XS to S

brown color

33.5cm width at waist(lay flat)

57.5cm long (lay flat)

email me at shoppers.junk.petite@gmail to order

1 piece left